September 5, 2003

  • TOO

    (The Origin Of) Defender of Man

    I wasn't always this
    dashing hero,
    kevlar cape
    and reflective tape,
    standing atop buildings
    like I run shit.

    I wasn't always
    the darkest day's
    anti-player savior
    answering distress "67" beacons
    and cries of "Captain Torch! Save me!"
    at which point I would
    fly down and ensure
    that justice was served.

    It wasn't always like that.

    See, I just figured
    that when one day
    I woke up
    stronger than
    those who would hurt me,
    better than
    those who would fuck with me,
    smarter than
    those who would scheme to defeat me,
    when one day I acquired
    the ability to see through
    bullshit
    and could leap
    tall lies
    in a single bound,

    I swore to myself
    that never again
    would the nice guy finish last.
    Cuz I've got this alter ego
    and he's far from a hero
    to the many girls in this world
    who are looking for something
    not real or not right
    from outside of it.
    I'm sworn to protect
    the sweet, the sensitive,
    the helpless,
    against the wiles
    behind the smiles
    of the fairer of the species,
    the ones that are more unfair.

    There are villainesses out there,
    with cute tactics locked,
    but decide to cockblock
    like they fear toxic shock
    when all we ever wanted
    was to kick it.
    Evil chicks
    with sweet charades displayed
    who always say the nicest things,
    singing mating songs
    with syrupy venom
    on their tongues
    to get us to hear it wrong.
    Girls who encourage
    with a flourished wave
    of hand or an eyelid.
    "Man oh man,
    why did I ever think
    I had a chance with that?"

    It wasn't happenstance.
    The plan was a trap
    because they know
    you'd bite.
    And so I don my cape,
    full outfit on.
    for those who've been
    shit on,
    I'll make it right.

    So to every cocktease,
    every girl fishin for
    a fuckin compliment,
    every dominant chick on
    a mission for
    some sucker to pick on,
    every girl who wants to
    toe that line
    for kicks
    then change her mind,
    every woman who's ever
    led someone on
    just for a little attention
    and generally
    every pretty face
    in the place
    who wishes to waste
    my time or anyone else's
    with the sole motive of being selfish,
    let this serve
    as your final notice
    to cease and desist
    at once and from now on
    before I get really pissed.

    I do this on behalf
    of any man whose wrath
    and ire
    proved futile against
    some of the flyer
    yatches
    withholding anything
    from snatch to even a true match
    from the last cat
    who was a catch
    and proved to be
    far more than adequate,
    and at the very least
    hardly average.

    Next time you fuck with
    any defenseless heart
    and start its motor
    then leave it idling
    unattended,
    broken and unmended,
    surrendered then
    left for dead with
    not so much as a
    thank you note
    for the man you broke
    whose hopes are dashed
    and vital fluids are leakin,
    I'm just saying
    you better hope
    you don't see that
    distress beacon.

    Cuz Torch ain't havin it.

    - Jerry Ponce