June 4, 2004

• I feel like a mute.  All you people that are able to talk, don't take it for granted.  It's so hard to communicate without a voice.  I feel like Ariel from "The Little Mermaid" except that I'm not a mermaid, I'm probably not going to meet my princess Erica (as opposed to Prince Eric) to get a kiss to bring my voice back to me, and if I were an animated character, I wouldn't be as cute.  So that's the end of that comparison.

  
  

  I've had a lot of time to think without having my thoughts interrupted with retarded comments emanating from my voice box, so I was thinking of how many people let their past determine their future.  Don't get me wrong, I understand that it has an effect on your future, because who you are, and what you will do, is about what you've been through.  But far too often, people let negative pasts be the reason to think they will have a negative future.  Pain hurts, but we all have the capacity to deal with it and move on through it, as long as we allow ourselves to do that.

  Feel Your Pain
  

  Holding on to past sins
  Becoming today's burdens
  Trying to overcome the guild
  That holding on to the past had built
  Some people say "Time heals all things"
  But time to myself brings
  Reflection
  There is not exception
  Even
  When
  Words like "I'm sorry!" I'm first
  To let tears quench pain's thirst.
  

  I've been reading a lot about this past Fil Am retreat, and taking in tons and tons of great accomplishments and goals, very entertaining tidbits about what went on and the immediate aftermath of it all.  I wish I could've been there, because it sounded like so much fun.  But alas, these elderly eyes and ears have no place at the retreat.  Woe is me.  Well, I hope that the synergy of the retreat springboards the community to another level, because as a community, whatever community you belong to, you can bring about such positive change because of the strength that you have.  There is a whole world outside of the Fil Am community that needs to know that we have a voice and ideas that deserve and need to be heard.

  
  

  For example, my friend said "The weapons of mass destruction have been found.  It's the media."  It's amazing how true that is.  The media is so powerful, it's worrisome.  Think about it.  They control the largest mode of communication.  With the advent of technology like satellites and the world wide web, they can reach anyone in or out of the world instantly.  They have a grip of money.  I mean, they can pay each winner of some "reality" show a million bucks, and they take in millions for a 30 second spot during the Superbowl.

  
  

  Speaking of which.  To get on a reality show nowadays, it's better to have an agent now.  Isn't that counterintuitive?  Really though, I guess it's not that weird.  There are a lot of actors and actresses that are just normal folk, and they aren't your mega-million dollar making actor or actress.  Someone discover me!  Haha.

  • 11:15 am
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