You know, despite what a weird move I thought it was when Mike Tyson got that tattoo on his face, it actually looks kind of cool.  It was bad timing for him to get it also because he wasn't able to fight for fear of it getting infected.  I guess he went down in four rounds last night.  He used to be such a mighty fighter.  I'm not sure if in any sport someone can lose so much credibility so fast.

My foot is still sore, but it's a little better.  I can feel that I got a good flex in my arms and shoulders from using the crutches.  I should work out more because my arms haven't felt this solid in a while.  Haha.  Inspiration comes from the weirdest places and circumstances.

I got a nice little lecture from my uncle again about how I need to get married "so you will not be alone."  He didn't add the whole alternative and how I will die if I don't get married like he usually does.  He means well I guess.  However, he got into how my mom died alone and even slipped about the unknown identity of my dad.  It turns out that the story is conjecture on his part, but that when my mom went for a child custody battle and child support blood tests proved inconclusive.  At least I think that's what my uncle was saying.  Sometimes it's hard to understand what he's talking about.  The most intelligent point he made in his lecture was how in the Philippines sometimes it's Filipino vs. Filipino.  He continued to talk about getting away from bad people like Marcos, but supporting Marcos when he was in the area of Marcos supporters.

This lead me to think of how it must've been in the Philippines after President Marcos declared Martial Law.  I picture armed soldiers walking all around, citizens paranoid of even saying anything for fear of being arrested and or murdered.  I think the process was called "harvesting."  I just imagine it like a war zone, somewhat similar to the images we see of Iraq with the forces there or in Vietnam when the forces were there when they weren't engaged in battle.  I'd really like to organize a dialogue on the Philippines during the Marcos era.  There are lot of passionate people about how bad Marcos was, but there are also a lot of people that believe, just as passionately, how good Marcos was.  Yet for me, I really don't know, except for some stories that people have told me.  I wonder what research has been done, and what hidden events have yet to be uncovered. 

Oh, it hurts so good.  Yah, my left foot is all shot now, and it was worse than the right one.  It feels like a permanent stinger.  I got the crutches going now though, so I'm limping in style.  There are some relatively long hallways in the Department of Education building that I have to traverse before I can get to my cubicle, and boy did I feel a plethora of tension all up in my body when I was using the crutches.  My abs felt like they were tightening up, of course, my arms were getting a fair share of stress, and the ankle of the foot that I was landing on, which is still a little sore, was getting a shock wave of pain every now and then.  I'm in my office, having to depend on my coworkers to help me get copies made, to drop packages off to fellow coworkers on the floor, get my lunch, etc.  So much for my previous post of being independent.  My uncle drove me to work today.  I didn't want to try to drive in and then walk from the light rail station to the building.  Imagine how sore my body would be.  This is all a reminder that I am not completely independent.  I will always need other people in my life.  I've been knowing that, but I guess God felt like I needed the reminder.  Effective God.  Thanks.

I was involved in a particularly interesting conversation about my identity.  Yes, yes, of course I find it interesting because it's about me.  Anyways, I was talking about how in junior high school I didn't really hang around a lot of Filipinos or those of the Filipino club and the question "Why is that?" came up.  I thought about it, and I really didn't know.  I responded that it wasn't that I disliked them or anything, but that at the time most of the people in that group were into hip-hop and graffiti art and breakdancing.  I didn't do that, nor did I think that I could do that or be as cool as them.  I had someone of an inferiority complex, I guess.  At the same time, I naively was of the opinion that they were using hip-hop to replace their ethnic culture.

I hung around a multi-ethnic group of people, but they were primarily Asian, except for one guy that was Puerto Rican and German.  Two Filipino guys, and two Vietnamese guys rounded out the bunch.  And then of course there was my Filipino self.

In high school, I also didn't participate in the Pride of the Pacific club, our local Filipino club, which included many of the same Filipino group that I knew in junior high.  Again, it wasn't that I disliked them, but I had little in common with them, other than we claimed to be Filipino. 

Even in my junior year, when I really started to pick up my knowledge and appreciation of Philippine and Filipino American history, I still did not associate with them all that much.  I had also lost touch with my junior high crew, as one went to jail, and the rest of us just went our separate ways.  Occassionally I still run into them, like when my mom passed, but otherwise, it's rare that I interact with them.  My interest was in yearbook and in History, and even within those realms there were subgroups to which I was never really affiliated with.  In History Day, there was the "Gang of Five" and "Mim and Monsters" and then there was Bobby.  They even said it like that:  "Mim, Monsters, and Bobby" like I was an afterthought.

In my junior year in college was when I really locked myself into a group.  That group of course is Chi Rho Omicron.  The rest of the Filipino American organizations on campus, I entered and exited like a protein in a cell.  And now in the Filipino community and the organizations in Sacramento, I enter and exit fairly freely and without hesitation.

I was asked if that bothered me.  I'd have to say yes and no.  I try to be independent, probably a simple consequence of me being an only child and not having someone to really depend on when I needed to lean on somebody.  If someone asked me if I had a best friend, I'd really say no.  I have a sister that I'd do anything for, namely Maryann, and brothers like Daniel Rubiaco and the brothers of XPO, and then my cousin Rallie, who although I've lost touch with him, I do care about him and his well being.  My next closest friends are the crew from high school, but even then I haven't kept up with what's going on in their lives if not for some mutual friends.  Of course, I respect everyone until they prove that they are unworthy of that respect, and I consider everyone as valuable. 

I used to say that anyone I get close to ends up being hurt.  That probably has something to do with my lack of a social group to associate with.  Also, I often worry about being a burden on people, and that sort of pushes me to stay away from people too.  I'm just a loner I guess.  It's pretty recognizable too.  For example, at Sinag-tala 2003, I received flowers with a card that read "To my favorite loner."  Interesting.  I never really thought about it or analyzed it until now.  Maslow's hierarchy of needs has nothing on me! 

Maybe I'm like Superman, who needs to sort of stay distant so that he can maintain some semblance of a normal life.  Yah that must be it.

So I keep on looking at reviews of the movie "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle."  I guess there is some good to come out of it.  I found out that the reference to White Castle is a reference to a popular 24-hour fast food restaurant on the East Coast.  There's none out here in California, so those of us that haven't traveled back east don't know about it.  I honestly thought it was some sort of reference to the "royalty" and "privilege" of being white.  My bad.  I'll probably check this movie out because the buzz is so strong right now.  I hope it really does break some of the Hollywood stigma regarding Asians and Asian Americans.  The media is so strong.  We really don't need to perpetuate the stereotypes.  So here's what someone wrote about the movie:

'...opening weekend for any film is extremely important.  Studio executives track the numbers from that first weekend's ticket sales and make all kinds of decisions based on that data...if they add more screens, if they will spend more money promoting it, if they will start investing in a sequel...but most imporantly, they decide if elements of the film work and whether they should o it again.  In our case, taht means they will be asking, "Will a strong script and story succeed or fail with 2 Asian American guys in non-stereotypical roles?"...this film is our chance to prove that realistic, non-stereotypical depictions can make an audience have a blast, and take in enough money to make this happen in the future...every movie ticket someone buyus is a VOTE, and the cool part is you're allowed to vote as many times as you want.  With your support of the film, we will show decision-makers in Hollywood that supporting movies like these is not only the right thing to do, but is also good business.  We'll also show YOU what it's like to ride a cheetah, hang glide off a cliff, pick up a hitchhiking Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser), tell off a bunch of ignorant punks, get love interests, and sing Wilson Phillips at the top of our lungs..."

According to Parry Shen, who auditioned for the role that John Cho plays in the movie, "There's a sequel in the works that will probably be contingent upon the box office success.  And then, BAM!  There will instantly be TWO films out with Asian American leads.  These are the baby steps it takes and how it happens.  One film makes it easier for the next one to come along.  And then the next one - this time maybe without the gross-out humor and then the next one- maybe a romantic comedy, etc.  As someone recently said, this opportunity is going to be huge.  Unlike when they just throw in obligatory Asian people in stuff like 'The Fast and the Furious.'"

Fortunately, I'm back at work, although me compensating for my ailing right foot has resulted in my left foot hurting as well.  I think I'm going to go in for another hilot treatment today after work, provided that my uncle will take me.  Then I have a meeting to debrief about "the apl song" screening that Krystle and Conrad put together.  Tomorrow I have two meetings, of which I can't decide which to go to since they overlap.  The world doesn't wait for sick people.  Life continues regardless of if you are able to keep up.  At least I felt well enough to get up out of bed and make my way to work.  My carpool driver dropped me off right next to the door, which was really nice of her.  I was considering just taking the light rail so that I didn't have to inconvenience her, but the walk from the light rail station to the office would really strain me.

In any case, "the apl song" didn't premiere on Total Request Live (TRL), which sucks, but they still want us to keep on voting in the chance that we will amass enough votes to get it air time.  I'll do it, since the larger issue is really what I'm working for.

One person reminded me how I need to get better so that I can do a toe touch at the Filipino American Youth Leadership Conference (FAYLC).  That's a really cool sentiment.  Not so much that I need to get better, but that people still want to see the toe touch.  I guess it's just ironic that someone of my build can do a toe touch.  It's something that should be on Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

Chi Rho Omicron retreat coming up.  The anticipation is already off the charts for me.  I'm probably driving down on my own but it'll be good to see all the brothers that make it.

True to form, if it's not one thing it's another.  I haven't been to work for two days now because my foot/ankle hurts like no other.  It hurts to weight on the ball of my foot.  As a result, I haven't been in to work, but I did go to a hilot today.  A hilot is like a Philippine deep tissue massage therapist.  Usually they hurt like no other.  This time wasn't so bad.  I did get back some of the range of motion in my foot.  It still hurts to put weight on it though.  I'm going to try to go in to work tomorrow, although I don't know how mobile I'll be.  I don't want to miss too much work since my desk is as backed up as it is already and now that the California state budget is passed, that just means more work is coming in. 

I have to take my lola in for a sigmascope or something like that.  It's related to the stomach pains she had a month or so ago.  Now that I've read up on it, I guess the procedure is done to look for cancer also.  In any case, I had one heck of a time explaining how to use an enema in Tagalog.  For some reason my class didn't cover that conversation.  So frustrating.  Lola had to go on a clear liquid diet for 24 hours, and so all she could eat was Jell-O.  Everything else had to be clear liquids.  As I was stirring the peach Jell-O, I became teary eyed.  I used to make Jell-O with my mom.  This was the first time I had made Jell-O since she passed.  It seems pretty silly that making Jell-O could get me all emotional.  After all, I'm the guy that was berated by my extended family for not crying at my mom's memorial and funeral services.  It's been almost four years, and to be completely honest with myself, I can't say that I'm okay.  I feel that my potential is yet to be fulfilled, and I'm really the only one to blame.  Ack, I sound like a broken record.

Often times in life, we don't get to choose who we work with.  In school, we don't get to choose our teachers or our classmates.  At work, we don't get to choose who our fellow employees are.  We don't always get to choose who our relatives are.  Yet, in all those circumstances, people do the best they can.  How come then, when it comes to community work, people run away from those people that they "can't work with" and basically refuse to work with them.  I don't get along with everybody, but I suck it up when I have to work with someone that I don't particularly like on a personal level.  I make the best of the situation I'm in.  Why?  Because the community and the cause is bigger than me.  It's more important than me. 

Someone may argue that rather than go through the trouble, why not avoid it altogether.  Again, because the vision is more important.  It's more important than egos, it's more important than reputation, it's more important than selfishness.  I wish the community leaders could get past all the rhetoric, and come together and really make a decision for everyone, rather than looking out for themselves.

One excuse used is, "I can't blame them."  That's a really weak argument.  If you've ever seen A Time to Kill, a gentleman kills a man that had raped his daughter and wasn't convicted in court.  Let's use this "I can't blame him" argument.  Then who do you blame?  Did the guy shoot himself?  Some would say he asked for it.  That drags both parties into the ground.  All in all, you can't hold someone down without getting down there yourself. 

I want to say I'm above all this.  Really, though I'm witnessing it happening.  I'm in the mix, because I care, like so many others, trying to sort things out and make things right and okay.  I feel like Clark Kent right now, meaning the powerless Superman amid the Crisis of Infinite Earths.  Okay, so it's not that dramatic.  But you get my drift.

I wonder if religion is something for the weak to use as a crutch when life takes a turn for the worse, to define their morals and the consequences that occur when they do not abide by those morals.  I don't mean to offend anyone that ascribes devoutly to any particular religion.  I myself consider myself very spiritual, yet with the scientific background that I have, I am skeptical as well.  Even the evidence behind evolution does not guarantee that it is true.  It is, after all, evidence toward something.  Just as evidence is introduced in court, it is not conclusive.  It is the gathering of evidence that allows us to come to a better and more refined position and conclusion.

Most conclusions result from a few premises.  This is the basis of argumentation.  Sometimes, however, the premises used are fallacies in logic. One of the most common is the Ad Hominem argument, where the character of a person is attacked.  So for example, Person A claims that yelling shouldn't be tolerated and was emotionally devastating for them.  Person B attacks person A, saying that they needed it, concluding that Person A's claim is false.  The reason why an Ad Hominem (of any kind) is a fallacy is that the character, circumstances, or actions of a person do not have a bearing on the truth or falsity of the claim being made or the quality of the argument being made.

Another common fallacy is the appeal to authority, where one claims to be an expert in some subject.  Most people do verify credentials.  I however, feel that it is necessary to do so.  Some standards of assessment include making sure that expert in question has had sufficient expertise in the subject matter in questions.  Another is that the argument is within that person's field of expertise.  Yet another is that there is an adequate degree of agreement.  Similarly, the person should not be significantly biased.

Another fallacy in arguments is the circumstantial ad hominem, where one attempts to attack a claim by asserting that the person making the claim is making it simply out of self interest.  Again, a person's interests and circumstances have no bearing on the truth or falsity of the claim being made.  While a person's interests will provide them with motives to support certain claims, the claims stand or fall on their own.

This is similar to poisoning the well, where one tries to discredit what a person might later claim by presenting unfavorable information about the person.  The red herring is often used where an irrelevant topic is presented in order to divert attention from the original issue.  The only reason that these come up right now is because this is what I am seeing happening to my community and its leaders.

I finally saw "the apl song" video yesterday.  I have to say, I'm impressed with the social consciousness of the video.  Not only that, but to use the arts, in this case, hip-hop and music, as the vehicle towards social consciousness is powerful, because you've given social consciousness a voice and given the music another level of meaning.  I do believe that in our struggle for veterans equity, this will bring much needed media exposure.

I was able to speak with some of the crew members of the video and we discussed the topic of artists being activists and vice versa.  Lily mentioned that artists are often tagged as not being activist enough, and that serves to push them even further away.  They are artists first.  I can respect that.  It's just too bad that not everyone is as easy going as me.

I also ran into some people that were currently not having the best time with their parents and complaining that their parents are giving them grief.  I want to tell them how I wish my mom was still around to give me grief.  The grief of not having them there is worse, because you never get to have the good times anymore.  It's sad how often that people don't realize what they have until it's gone.  I think we as a people need to appreciate each other more.  The world would be a much better place.

I checked my e-mail and was happy to receive this press release on HR 677, the Full Equity Bill.  It said,

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: July 16, 2004

Contact: Luisa Antonio 415.255.2347

H.R. 677 Full Equity for Filipino World War II Veterans is Closer than Ever...

H.R. 677, the Filipino World War II Veterans Equity Bill Act of 2003, is currently pending before the US House of Representatives.  A recent movement of support has just catapulted the number of co-sponsors to 185.  With this present push, only 34 co-sponsors are needed to bring FULL EQUITY to a vote before the House or Representatives.  The lobbying efforts of the National Network for Veterans Equity and their allies has shown that persistence and hope continue to prevail in the fight for justice.

H.R. 677 was introduced on February 11, 2003 by Rep. Randy Cunningham (CA-50).  H.R. 677 has general provision direcly eliminating harsh provisions of the 1946 Rescission Act.  It provides, specifically in Section 2, the amendment of 38 USC re-designating service of Filipino veterans as "active" services and renders ALL Filipino Veterans eligible for benefits in parity with US veterans who are similarly situated.

Now, more than ever,  your active support can bring long awaited justice to our Filipino World War II Veterans.  Please contribute your time and energy to this cause, because time is of the essence and our Veteranos are passing away everyday.

###

Let's make it happen folks.

Yet of course, while there is good news, I also got bad news.  AB 2512, a bill that would encourage that social science instruction in grades 7 to 12 "include instruction on World War II and the role of Filipinos in that war.  The Legislature encourages that this instruction include a component drawn from personal testimony, especially in the form of oral or video history of Filipinos who were involved in World War II and those men and women who contributed to the war effort on the homefront.  The oral histories used as a part of the instruction regarding the role of Filipinos in World War II shall exemplify the personal sacrifice and courage of the wide range of ordinary citizens who were called upon to participate and provide intelligence for the United States.  The oral histories shall contain the views and comments of their subjects regarding the rasons for their participation in the war.  These oral histories shall also solicit comments from their subjects regarding the aftermath of the war and the immigration of Filipinos to the United States."

Now, it passed in the House and the Senate and when it went up to Arnold Schwarzenegger's office, on July 7, 2004, he issued the following statement: 

To the Members of the California State Assembly:

I am returning Assembly Bill no. 2512 without my signature.

This bill would authorize adopted courses of study in social sciences to include instruction on World War II and role of Filipinos in that war.

While I respect the author's intent to recognize the phenomenal contributions of Filipinos during World War II, State content standards and curriculum frameworks are necessarily broad, allowing for coverage of many important historical events and cultural developments.  Current law already allows schools to incorporate in their social science instruction the role of Filipinos during World War II.  I believe it is important for the State to refrain from prescribing too much of the details of school curriculum.

For these reasons, I cannot support this bill.

Sincerely,

Arnold Schwarzenegger

It's funny, because the bill states, "the Legislature encourages" instruction of the role of Filipino World War II veterans.  It does not force anyone to do it.  He says the State should not prescribe what should be in the curriculum.  According to him, we cannot even suggest anything.  Ridiculous.  I hope when the Legislature votes on it again, that they pass it.