July 5, 2004

• I really admire those people who are able to keep in touch with their friends.  I know people that constantly make phone calls to maintain their contacts.  Ryan Rea is one of them.  He practically does it on a schedule.  Everyday, he's on the phone with one of his friends.  One can always see him on his phone.  Other people keep in touch though e-mail.  Maylyn Angeles is like that.  One of our teachers, Ms. Nancy Gorman, in high school was having health complications, and she kept us informed via e-mail on how she was pregressing.  We just found out that she is going to return to Valley High in the fall to teach again.  My co-worker, Karen Nichols is 25 years out of high school and she keeps in touch with a lot of her classmates.  She organized their reunion in fact.  Conference planning is cool. 

  
  

  That's definitely something that I want to improve upon.  I often talk about those friends that  you maybe haven't spoken to in years and when you see them again, you pick up right where you left off.  I wonder if things would be that much more special to not have that break in communication.

  
  

  There are quite a few traits that I want to improve upon.  Self-improvement is the way to go.  Those are the things that are most in my control.

  
  

  Something came up that is out of my control right now.  I found out that my ex-girlfriend, Evangeline, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.  I have yet to do some research on the disease, but apparently, when the tests were done on her, they found marijuana and other drugs in her system.  She was admitted into a ward.  I knew she was acting strange at the wedding, but I just figured because it was her brother's wedding she was really excited.  When I was told of this, the first thing that flashed through my mind was that I had something to do with it. 

  
  

  She was the last girlfriend that I've had.  I only had the fondest memories of us when we were together, and even more after we parted ways.  She was entering her senior year in high school and I was moving for school.  I made it seem like it was mutual when she brought up wanting to see other people.  She told me she thought eventually she'd marry me.  Part of me has always hung onto that.  How much more of a pathetic, hopeless romantic could I be?  I kept a baby picture of her in my wallet for a long time, and only took it out recently to put it in a photo album when my stuff was soaked at a brotherhood event.  She has had relationships with other guys, all of which I didn't necessarily approve, but it wasn't my place to say anything.  So I supported her, and just wanted to be happy.  When she dropped out of Sac State, I supported her.  I knew she got into some heavy drugs and talked to her about it, but none of it took hold.  I don't know.  She's on lithium now.  Maybe I should've taken a more aggressive stance.  If I really cared about her the way I think I care about her, I should've done more.  I don't know if it would've made a difference, but I feel like I let her and her family down.

  • 7:01 am
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