Since the Civic is currently out of commission, and it was demonstrably apparent as of Friday that we each needed our own cars for transportation, I went ahead and registered and got insurance on the Prelude yesterday and will now be driving that again until further notice.  I'm pretty happy to be back in the Prelude, as it drives smoother than the Pathfinder and the gas mileage is expected to be so much better.  I took it out last night and found out that the right window and the speedometer lights aren't working, but everything else seems to be in working order.  Hopefully it's just fuses and I'll be able to fix that later today.  It ran me $221.00 to get the car back to legal specifications to drive, but there is definitely a lot of upside to getting the Prelude back.  Not only that, but that car is pretty sentimental to me because it was the first car I bought on my own, and that was during a time that I felt pretty unstoppable as things were going well in my life.  I was happily in an awesome relationship with Vangie, all was well in my freshman year of college, and the family was doing okay.  Things were stable.

If it's not apparent yet, every prospective person I meet or seek to have a relationship with, I have found myself initially comparing and contrasting them to Vangie.  I do it not to judge who is better, but I do it to learn more about that person.  Most of our learning occurs by comparing and contrasting anyway.  How do we know what our favorite food is?  We compare it to other foods that we have eaten.  The same is true for favorite movies, sports, shows, etc.  After all, everyone is special in their unique way, and no two people are the same.

I think that's also why it's pretty difficult for people to adjust when they lose a loved one.  While getting the smog check for the Prelude yesterday, I was talking to one of the smog technicians and he mentioned that he knew Sean Patrick Sullivan, who had been missing for eight days, until they found him a victim of a fatal car accident on Monday.  People are irreplaceable, as good or as bad as they are.

The news also showed the killing of a one-year-old Hmong girl, who, along with two others, was hit by her uncle with a sledgehammer.  That one-year-old will also be missed.  Who knows what she would've become?  Maybe a heroine for all of us to follow. 

My prayers especially go out to a friend and her family who just lost her father this Saturday.  Oh how mortal we all are.

I believe, however, that once we've fulfilled our purpose, there is no need for us anymore.  That's why followers become leaders and replace old leaders.  That's why people retire and other people step up.  That's why there is life and death and people are born and other people die each day. 

If you're a Christian, you've studied this in Jesus' life.  He came to be mortal to make the ultimate sacrifice.  Unfortunately, some people take that for granted.  When we are in need, we ask for God and prayers and all that.  Yet as soon as things are good, we think that God has no purpose, and we don't allow God to linger in our hearts, even to thank for the blessings.  That's appreciation.

All in all, we need to appreciate what we have.  For those that have lost loved ones, we will always have memories of the good times with them.  Now that's special. They'll never be replaced. 

Now that it's fall, the weather is nicer and the colors of nature are in full force.  I really like fall.  That's why it's always been a desire of mine to have an outdoor wedding in the fall, when the leaves are all different colors and the weather is milder.  Spring is comparable, but I still find fall to be more amenable to me.  It just seems calmer to me.  My lola and I were sitting outside on our backyard patio yesterday.  My lola had fallen asleep and I was just looking at the sky.  It was this beautiful pale blue, set against the gold, red, and green of our tree in the back.  I'm not sure what kind of tree it is, so I can't identify it any further.  As day became dusk, the sky changed color to this great orange hue, just as awesome in appearance.  If I were a painter, that's what I would paint.  Or if I were a photographer, I'd try to capture those moments.  Really calm and serene.  It was great.

No news on the Civic yet.  I hope my uncle doesn't expect me to pay for it the repairs.  He drives it 90% of the time even though it's registered to me, so at the most, I'll pay 10% of the bill.

A couple of friends of mine are expecting their third child.  Mr. Tony and Mrs. Irma Leeder deserve much congratulations.  They have proven to be very good parents.  Many people could definitely learn a lot from them about parenting.  Then again, maybe they just have good kids and many kids could learn a lot from them about being good children.  I guess everyone could just learn to be good people and that would help the world a lot.

My boss, Ms. Lori Rucks, made a statement the other day about me being a very good person and that I will one day make someone a very happy woman.  She said she could tell that my respect for women was a very strong quality.  It's one of those instances where I could really take it as, "Oh she's just saying that because she's my boss," or she really is impressed by me.  She doesn't really know me, except for the little bits of conversation we have aside from the work that I do.  In any case, I hope she's right, regardless of if she means it or not.  I definitely will do my best to make someone happy, if not everybody.

Woke up to my uncle asking me to help him push the Civic into the garage.  The check engine light came on and he kept on driving it.  Now it won't start.  Not sure what it'll take to get it fixed, but I'm sure it'll be expensive.

I found myself slipping back to thinking about the times when Vangie and I were together again.  She found me on MySpace and sent me a nice message.  I miss her.  A lot.  She was so real.  We used to have the most amazing conversations.  It would be nice to have those type of conversations again.  With anyone really.

It's so hard to find "real" people.  A lot of people just say what needs to be said, and do what needs to be done, without putting themselves out on the edge to make any significant progress.  Rather, they do what it takes to maintain the status quo because they are comfortable where they are at.  For example, a lot of people have a hard time giving criticism, because they fear the backlash or how the person will take the criticism.  Even though a person could really use the criticism, especially to improve themselves, a lot of people fail to give it.

The other side of the coin however, is the one where a person is so real that they often seem to fail to consider the feelings of others.  I find myself on this side of the fence every once in a while.  I'd rather know people on this side, though, because they are being more honest, in my opinion.  At least if I know someone is an outright racist, I can prepare for that.  However, if there is someone that carries racist ideologies but does not say them to my face, that person, in many ways, can be more dangerous.

I came to work freshly shaven, in a black three-button with notch lapel Jones New York Suit, Etienne Aigner dress shirt with pointed collar, Stacy Adams tie and handkerchief, and my Salvatore Ferragamo shoes, with a dash of "Very Sexy" cologne for a feel good scent.

Had my interview for the Executive Office today.  I think I did okay.  I probably could've done better.  I didn't really prepare prior to this morning, re-reading the job description and trying to anticipate questions that the interview panel was going to ask.  I was still nervous though.  First there was a written portion of the interview, a test of sorts.  Obviously, this was to weed out folks that wouldn't be able to read or write professional correspondence.  Then the oral interview involved some scenario questions and experience questions, ones that I should've guessed, but, of course, didn't.  Well that's over.  I just have to send them a thank you letter and then I just wait until mid-October when they make their selection.  In the meantime, I'm still going to send out resumes and what not, in my constant and neverending search for something better.  Of course, I'll cross my fingers too.

Oh, and I still haven't heard from The Comedy Spot either.  I should probably follow up.  It'll be a week tomorrow.

I am really anxious about hearing from Brian of "The Comedy Spot."  Waiting for big news is sometimes the worst.  I remember when I asked Evangeline to be my girlfriend the day before I left for Washington DC for the National History Day Competition.  I was just awaiting her answer and that was so nerve-wracking.  Then, while in Washington DC, I had to wait more than two days for the results of the competition I was in.  Technically, the hard part was over.  I had gone through my interview process and had already qualified for the final round.  All I had to do was wait.  I was so anxious though.  I was really mixed up between waiting to hear from Vangie and from waiting to hear the results of the competition.  As much as I wanted to call Vangie, I didn't.  I knew I had to focus on the competition.  Like the adage goes though, good things come to those who wait.  I got second place in the competition and when I got back, Vangie was waiting for me at the airport with good news as well.

I also wanted to call Brian for the results.  Maybe if I don't hear by tomorrow, I'll call.  I don't want to be a pest though.  Plus, I know I have an interview on Thursday that I need to prepare for.  I was told there was going to be a written test portion as well as an oral test portion.  All in all, it means that I have larger things on my plate that are more important.  As much as I do what I like, there are other obligations that I have to take care of also.

I've kind of been neglectful as of late, and I am trying to break out of that before it becomes a habit.  Many of the things that I neglect to do are simple to do, but simple not to do as well.  Discipline will be the only thing that will separate the neglectful me and the responsible me.

I feel completely reaffirmed.  Why?  Because I got a call back yesterday for The Sacramento Comedy Spot.  So I went back to the same place and had a second audition.  There were twelve of us there competing for six to seven spots.  So the odds aren't too bad.  We played some harder games and did this one called "Newspaper" where we had to come up with a comedy skit based off of the newspaper.  That was a complete test of imagination.  We also worked with Leeman, who is part of the cast already, and we did "Store," where he was a salesman and we had to go in and purchase stuff from him one at a time.  Again, he kept us on our toes.  He is so good though.  Then we played "Freeze" which is a popular Filipino American Youth Leadership Conference and Pilipino Youth Coalition Retreat game.  In the end, once again, I kept on thinking about what I should've done when this happened and when that happened that would've been funnier.  Oh well.  I still think I could've done better.  Practice makes improvement.  Brian, one of the directors, said that he'd let us know one way or another either today or tomorrow if we got a part.  No call for me today, so I'll just keep on keeping my fingers crossed through tomorrow.

Oh, but I didn't even mention why I felt reaffirmed.  What he said was that "Everyone was called back here today because we saw something in you.  All of you are good enough to be in a sketch comedy troupe."  That felt real good.  He continued, "Unfortunately, we can't take all of you.  You heard me talk about puzzle pieces yesterday, and we're looking for certain puzzle pieces for our troupe.  If we don't choose you this time, it's only because we went with another puzzle piece that fit us better for now."  Basically, don't take it personal and they are just saying no for now.

It's funny how a compliment from a complete stranger can be more powerful than one coming from a friend.  Yet it's the complete opposite about an insult.  How many times have I said, "It shouldn't matter what people think about you?  All that matters is what you think about you."  I don't mean to say you should ignore all outside criticism.  It's just that in the end, you make the ultimate evaluation of yourself with respect to what people say, not completely because of what other people say.

A compliment from a stranger is powerful because they don't know you.  From a friend, it could be coming from the mere fact that they are your friend, out of obligation to support or duty.  Yet an insult, coming from a stranger, isn't strong for the same reason.  They don't know you.  A friend though that insults you, you expect to know you better than that, and possibly have an insight that another person may not have.  Maybe that's just me though.

I had to fight traffic to get to the audition last evening, which got me a little agitated.  I was there about forty-five minutes early so I went and bought a Jamba Juice Mango-A-Go-Go with an Energy boost to try to get settled and energized.  Went over to Party America afterwards, to try to get in a more festive mood.  As time got closer, I started to get nervous, but not the nervous where your heart is racing, your legs are weak, and your palms are sweaty.

I got in, filled out a audition form, posed for a picture, and then received seventy as my number.  I pinned it to my shirt and this was how they were going to let track me throughout the audition.  Just to explain, the audition was for two groups that do sketch comedy and improv.  I think of it as a mix of "Saturday Night Live" and "Who's Line is it Anyway?"  We started off with "Yes and..."  which is in pairs.  One of the people says something and the other person continues the conversation starting with "Yes, and..."  You build on one another until someone stops you. 

A couple rounds of that, and we did "TOO," or "The Origin Of."  Our item was Q-Tips.  So I was a crack addict that dropped a rock in my ear.  After unsuccessfully trying to suck it out, plunge it out, and get a rabbit to get it out, my friends see an approaching ball of cotton on a stick.  Which still doesn't get the crack out of my ear.  But I'm having a good time.

Then we did character walk in pairs, where we walk in as a certain character, and the person with us has to play along.  Total improv.  Awesome.  Finally, we played "Half-life" in our groups, where we do a scene, then do it again in half the time, over and over until we get down to one second.  We had "I think I love you, but what am I so afraid of?" and church.  That just ended up being a raunch-fest and toe touches galore.  Other groups had "Superman" and "volleyball" as well as "I love you" and "kindergarten."

Overall, it was a lot of fun.  I'm not sure if this is a typical audition experience, but I did learn a lot from going through it.  There was a lot of good talent of all ages.  One person auditioned and he is in high school.  He is really good though.  There are four to six open spots and that call backs would be today.  I don't think I did that well though, from my own perspective.  So I'll do what I usually do, and hope for the best, but expect the worst.  A person that I think could do well would be Jason Magsuci.  I think I'll recommend that he try out the next time I hear there are auditions.

On a side note, one of the long term goals of the group is to open a Comedy Club called "The Sacramento Comedy Spot" and do more shows like this.  Currently, they perform out of an hotel, and they must be doing pretty well.  They offer classes too on improv, which look pretty neat. 

Anyone catch Whitney on television last night?  I told you I was watching too much television.  She looked great and sounded better.  Her voice was beautiful.  You would think she had missed a step with her being away from the industry and taking care of her daughter, not to mention the rehabilitation session, and her husband's galavanting.  However, she was sensational.  I turned to the music awards just as she was about to perform, so I didn't see anything else on the show, except for the following Outkast performace, less Andre.  Not bad, but I saw them live once and that was extraordinary.

I want to go to this public speakers training event in November.  http://www.lesbrown.com/sp.htm  One problem is that it costs $1497 for the Bronze Level training.  Another problem is that it's in Atlanta, GA which costs about $300.  Anyone know any good fundraisers?

I have an audition today for the Sacramento Comedy Spot.  http://www.saccomedyspot.com  I don't know how it will go.  I don't have anything prepared, no experience, and no resume.  Sounds bad huh?  Luckily the website says you don't need any of those items.  So I'm perfect!  I have nothing to lose anyways, so no big deal.  I'll just do my best.

Next Thursday, I have an interview for a position in the Executive Office of the California Department of Education.  Sounds like big stuff huh?  Well, I more or less will be serving the big wigs in the department.  If I'm lucky, maybe I'll be able to meet more congresspeople.  I was nervous when I called in to check the status of my application, but apparently I at least looked good enough on paper to warrant an interview.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I've been watching too much television.  Between "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," "Renovate My Family," and "The Amazing Race" that's three hours a week that I could be spending on something more productive, like exercising, or reading, or talking to my lola.  Notice that they are all "reality" shows.  How real are reality shows?  One could argue that the people are real, but the situations definitely are not.  How many of us get a whole home renovation for free?  How many of us get to travel the world for a shot at $1 million?

In Asia and Europe, where most people would argue that their cellular phone technology is far more advanced than ours, they are releasing an "on phone girlfriend."  Supposedly, if your phone can display moving pictures, a computer graphic image of a girl can be displayed on your phone and you can interact with her.  I'm not sure if it's by texting, or by your voice alone, but the image responds to you, and depending on their mood, can have different attitudes like a real person.  At this rate, we won't even need to interact with other people.  We'll have computer generated entities that we can interact with all the time.  Holograms and robots and what not.  The art of personal relationships will suddenly be impersonal as ever.