May 23, 2005

• A couple friends of mine, Thea and Voltaire, tracked down my original tattoo artist, Aleks Figueroa.  He has an awesome website that I checked out, www.filipinotattoos.com and I found a picture of my tattoo when he put it on me!  You can see it here: http://www.filipinotattoos.com/alibata%20thumbs/pages/25.htm.  Oh the memories.

  
  

  I thought really long and hard about this tattoo.  It stands for so many traits and characteristics on so many levels for me.  One of the more apparent things about it is the sun from the Philippine flag, and all the meanings of the sun on the flag.  The sun represents one united country, or for me, one united people.  The eight rays on the sun are said to be eight of the first provinces to have revolted against Spanish rule.  Hence, revolution.  The sun, typically seen as yellow, is to be light.  I had mine darkened in, to represent depth – of character, of spirit, of mystery.  The symbol of the ka, from the ancient Baybayin script of the Philippines, is a symbol used by the Katipunan, a revolutionary group that led the people of the Philippines against Spain.  “Ka,” in and of itself, is an identifier, and used in many words like kaibigan, kagalangan, kapwa tao, etc.  All strong words that I believe have no true English equivalent, because of the depth of the meaning.  At the same time, the symbol also has an interpretation of symbolizing “the connection between heaven and earth.”

  
  

  I wanted my tattoo to have meaning.  It pains me to hear of people that were looking to get tattoos using certain languages or characters and find out that their tattoos is not even close.  Aleks has a good example on his website, of a guy that wanted “white tiger” on his arm, but got “placenta” in Chinese characters.  Or another guy I know that was put in the newspaper last year, who thought he was getting his mom’s name in Japanese characters, but it ended up really being gibberish.

  
  

  There is a more pervasive concept at work here as well – the commodification of Asian culture.  It’s more of a key phrase that’s been thrown around lately.  There are many examples out there.  Many of us are guilty of it, myself included.  It’s one thing to participate within an Asian culture.  It’s another to participate within an Asian culture and understand its roots, or at least to try to understand its roots.

  
  

  I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of events.  It’s unreasonable to believe that I can be at everything, especially with my limited transportation options.  The mistakes I made in the past are rearing their ugly heads.  I believe everyone ultimately gets what they deserve.  Maybe I deserve to miss out on these events.  I have to make some more changes in my life, to get myself more on track.

  
  

  I take back what I said about my uncle being patient.  It was simply a coping mechanism.  He is full of these conspiracy theories.  Tonight he came home talking about how he picked a fight with our neighbors.  May I add that he’s drunk?  He thinks they were the ones that broke into the car.  He has no evidence.  Of course, he’s entitled to his opinions.  However, now he’s making threats towards me.  Not physical ones, but ones in regards to helping me.  It makes me ask myself, “Who’s helping who here?”  I’m pretty fed up with him.  I’ve been.  This whole importance of family is pretty debilitating for me.  It’s hard for me to take advice that I myself have given to others.  What’s good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander though.  My own fault there.  I allow myself to be handcuffed.  I acknowledge my own fault in the matter. 

  
  

  I seem to go around in circles in regards to my beliefs, my mantras, and my sayings.  Please give me the strength to carry on.  I really need this XPO party coming up.  Empire Club at 1417 R Street, downtown Sacramento.  May 26, 2005.  9:00 PM.  You haven’t partied if you haven’t XPO partied.

  
  

  

  
  

  Speaking of the instance of commodification of Asian culture. How bad is that? Here’s what’s good though. The money will go to Chi Rho Omicron doing other cultural events. Everyone is going to have a good time for themselves.

  • 2:34 am
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