Happy Birthday Amelita! I love you.

A dear friend informed me that the proper name of the bike taxi might be pedi-cab, and lo and behold a Yahoo! search for that term yielded exactly what I saw. I want one now.

However, my appetite often overwhelms my resources. I've gotten much better at distinguishing between what I want, and what I need. It's all common sense anyways. We, as humans, just have to use it more often.

At times I feel overwhelmed at the multiple sources of information that bombards my senses, with oftentimes conflicting information. It may be difficult to distinguish between what is true and what is false, but it's so important. Unfortunately, many people do not take the time and effort to do just that.

More and more, I feel that the world needs a hero or group of heroes to rally around. Anyone care to step up?

San Diego is such a beautiful place. The weather is nice, the night sky is clear, and the city has personality. I came here to take part in Chi and Charlene's wedding, which was beautiful even more beautiful. It's always great to see true love between two people. I can think of nobody more deserving that those two.

I did okay as the emcee. There was definitely room for improvement. I just hope that I made Chi and Charlene happy. I just wanted to honor and celebrate their love. There were about 200 people, and many were individuals I hadn't seen in years, so the reunion of sorts was great. If I weren't so busy, I probably could've spoken with them more, but I had a duty to perform and that was worth it. It also turned out to be Chi's parents 30th anniversary, and just two days after Charlene's 32nd anniversary. That means many more years of anniversaries to be celebrated together.

Afterwards, we went to the Gaslamp district, where the nightlife is awesome.  There are people that ride bikes with trailers to perform something like a taxi service. Imagine a horse and carriage but with someone riding a bike as the horse. The brothers and I rode in some and turned it into a race. It's a lot of fun and I would recommend it to people if they find themselves in San Diego.

I was speaking to our driver, whose name is Memet. He is a student in Turkey majoring in business administration. Apparently, he is going to be in San Diego for three months with the primary purpose of saving up some money. The drivers rent the bikes from one of three companies in San Diego at a rate of $150 per week, on top of getting a special license to offer the service. I wonder if they make a lot of money. I think something like that would be a hit in Davis and Sacramento.

It's 2:00 AM and my lola is still awake, complaining to me about my uncle, and how he continues to make poor life decisions.  She recommended me to tell him to move out.  He really stresses her out.  Maybe he's the cause of all of her headaches and pains.  I would love for him to go live on his own.  However, I don't have a lot of faith that he'd be able to make ends meet financially.  Not only that, but I have even less faith that he wouldn't spiral himself into a state of oblivion.  Maybe he'll prove me wrong.  Some tough decisions are going to have to be made. 

As citizens, we have the ability to take matters into our own hands and work to change them for the better.  That's why I really like what's going on in Ojai, CA.  Check it out:

Ojai lawyer sues governor over Proposition 98

By Amy Bentley, Correspondent

June 21, 2005

With a daughter entering seventh grade next fall at Matilija Junior High School, Ojai resident Rudy Petersdorf worries that the quality of her public education could weaken without more state funding.

That's why Petersdorf, a lawyer and husband of Ojai school board member Rikki Horne, is suing Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger for alleged breach of contract over Proposition 98. The 1988 law guarantees a minimum funding formula for public K-12 schools and community colleges.

State officials said they believe Petersdorf is the first person to file such a lawsuit over Proposition 98.

Petersdorf's suit, filed last month in Ventura County Superior Court, comes as the governor and education advocates statewide gear up to fight over the state's mandated contribution to education.

http://www.venturacountystar.com/vcs/oj/article/0,1375,VCS_168_3871180,00.html

Being that it's graduation season, I started thinking about how it must feel to be a parent of a graduate. It caused me to write a letter to my unborn children for when they graduate from high school. Hopefully, I will have demonstrated with my life what I want to impart in the letter. However, the letter is much more succinct.

First, I wish you the fulfillment of yoru grandest dreams - they provide the inspiration and direction for your future endeavors. However, I also want to impress upon you that by doing the small things will, you are capable of changing the lives of others and of improving the owrld - in ways that you may not notice at the time.

Second, whether you go to college or straight into the workforce, remember that your diploma represents many things. This precious piece of paper represents not only your own hard work, but also the support of your parents and other family members.  Behind it is the effort of teachers who work to help students succeed and a system of public education that both supports and preserves our democracy. Never take your education for granted.

Third, I want to remind you that while your diploma does not guarantee you success, it will open doors to places where your continued hard work may indeed bring great rewards - rewards for personal gain and for the betterment of mankind.

Finally, I hope that you will always find time to give back soemthing in return for the education that you ahve received while you are seeking these long-term rewards. You are now a role model for hundreds and thousands of young people who will follow in your footsteps. Volunteer. Mentor. Help otehrs to ahve the opportunities that were afforded to you.

There is not much more that I can add to the joy and sense of accomplishment that I know you are feeling as you approach this important milestone. You now face a lifetime of possibilities, a lifetime in which every thing you do will make a difference. Good luck!

The weather was wonderful this past weekend and made the Filipino Fiesta quite a pleasure. I was able to speak to some of the performers this weekend, and I kept on hearing over and over, like a mantra, "I am shy." It really got me thinking about when I use the word shy.

 

It's difficult not to ponder human vagaries when someone proclaims, "I am shy" then instantly adds, "I want to perform." It's like hearing: "I'm afraid of heights. I want to be an astronaut." Or, "I'm afraid of water. I want to be an Olympic swimmer."

 

The claim to debilitating shyness automatically elicits the question: "Then why go into such a soul-revealing profession as performing?" It just doesn't make sense. Performing is a public profession. It's an almost self-evident truth that anyone who wants to perform must also want to be in the spotlight - at least on stage or on a film set. Is there anything in the universe that a genuinely shy person wants less than being in the spotlight? Being that exposed would be a nightmare.

 

So we have a contradiction: I am shy and want to hide. I am shy and want to be in the spotlight. No, we don't expect a foolish consistency in human beings. But in order not to waste money and years in training to be a performer, at some point it is necessary to look carefully at a performer's claim to be "shy."

 

Let's grant that most people have a dollop or two of "shyness." Of course there are people who are shy and some of these people are performers. But their shyness does not invade their performing world. They do not confuse shyness with stage fright or lack of confidence or whatever other traits are standing under the umbrella of "shyness."

 

Yes, the quotation marks around "shyness" are deliberate—visual symbols to protest that the word is epidemically misused. In fact, in addition to claiming varying degrees of "shyness," performers also mislabel as "shyness" a backpack full of other career-damaging attitudes. But why would a performer claim shyness?

 

Maybe "shyness" acts as a protective shield which allows us not to face - and thus prevents the pain of solving - the real problems that we have mistakenly defined as "shyness." So maybe shyness is an escape from something else? What other possibilities hide behind our claim of "shyness"?

 

Maybe we act or perhaps even feel "shy" because we think that's a way to avoid being challenged/attacked/criticized/laughed at. Maybe a casting director will sympathize and cast us in spite of the shyness? That's probably not going to happen. To allow "Shyness" to interfere with an audition or a performance - well that's civil war fought on the battleground of your own performing soul.

 

More: Is there the slightest chance - the very whisper of a possibility-that shyness is a clever (albeit self-defeating) way of grabbing the spotlight? That shyness is the flip side of "Look at me"? That shyness in a would-be performer is a way to avoid the work and commitment which this profession demands? That shyness is a brilliant way to manipulate?

 

Manipulate? Yes indeed. I think it was Oscar Wilde who coined the phrase, "the tyranny of the weak." Shyness can be a form of tyranny since it forces everyone else to try to open you up, or make you feel comfortable, or take special care not to hurt your feelings. It's a subtle way to get attention without seeming to. See how clever we are at dodging those arrows of outrageous fortune which Hamlet so eloquently explores! Clever, but self-defeating.

 

"But I really am shy. I am not a tyrant!" Nope, I just don't believe it.

 

Also consider the possibility that shyness which says, "I can't, woe and alas" may be the flip side of "I won't. So there!" So maybe shyness is a form of wilfulness.

 

"I'm shy." What would happen if the person said instead, "I am manipulative, controlling, and willful"? But the recognition of the correct word might just -just might - free the person to be the performer they want to be.

 

So just leave the "shyness" outside the performing door. One way to quit being "shy" is to discover a more accurate term for the behavior. Stage fright maybe. Maybe self-centeredness. Or anger squashed down so hard that it disguises itself as "shyness." Or maybe arrogance masking as shyness because arrogance isn't considered "nice." Or shyness may provide an escape from responsibility. It may be a way to evoke pity instead of criticism.

 

Another way to stop being shy is to discover its cause. Maybe there were parents who criticized too often. Or a religion that kept the reins very tight. If the shyness is genuine, and not merely the acceptable cover for something else, then each case has its own cause. Discovering that cause is beyond the boundary of our chats. How to get over it and what caused it are not the same topic. For now, we are looking at what it is and how to cure it.

 

Yet another way to stop shyness is to recognize its damage. Shyness allows us to wrap ourselves in gauze so that we cannot let loose our creative energies. The claim to shyness allows us to shove intuition and imagination into a dark cave, while "shyness" guards its entrance. The claim to shyness allows us to be a waiter who acts, not an actor who waits.

 

Accurate terminology is essential. Call it what it is; give your feelings the accurate term and you are half-way to being cured. Language is precious. Use of accurate language would cure many of our problems. So do not contribute to language clutter by telling yourself you are "shy" when it just isn't so. Here's a suggested early morning, look-in-the-mirror-while-washing-your-face sentence to say to yourself: "I am _____." But fill in the blank with the truth, not with a thing mistakenly called "shyness."

 

Besides calling it by its right name, another cure for "shyness" is to want something else more than you want the shyness. Let that something else be an obsessive drive to perform. This is the one I personally subscribe to. It worked for me.

 

One curious way to face "shyness" is to get so angry that the anger propels you past the safety of shyness. Anger is a remarkable source of energy. It certainly hurtles you past the concentration on self that lies at the core of "shyness."

 

Another cure for "shyness" depends on acknowledging an unpleasant truth. If you have a genuine gift, then being shy and not sharing that gift is preventing the public from moments of happiness which you could bring them. Let's call that self-centeredness, not shyness.

 

And last, the way to overcome whatever the thing is you are calling "Shyness" is to over prepare. Don't use shyness as an excuse not to demand perfection. Preparation and seeking perfection are inseparable.

 

Battle that thing misnamed "shyness" both with the shining light of accurate language and with the joyous drive to perform. Yearn to do just that. And then shed your shy skin and pursue your goals with a single mindedness that propels you past "shy." Want to perform well enough to be seen as more than shy. If 'shyness' is stronger than the drive to act, acknowledge that. Facing the truth about our feelings may be painful but it often heals.

 

Proper terminology, a drive to perform, recognition of the nature of "Shyness," preparation - these are a few of the weapons against the invading armies that hide behind the shield of "Shyness."

With the debate ongoing in regards to education in California, I am reminded of history, from which, if we take the time to notice and learn, can teach us many things. 

In 1944, when the United States was in the single largest armed conflict the world had seen and has seen since, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the GI Bill, which allowed veterans and their immediate families the opportunity to seek out a college education.  The number of college students doubled within ten years.

In 1957, when Sputnik was launched into space, President Dwight D. Eisenhower urged people to expand the country's efforts in technology.  The amount of teachers and scientists skyrocketed. 

Great leaders of great groups expand upon education, not cut back on it.  Cutting back on education is a disservice to our world as a whole.