It's funny how one story from one person's mouth can have drastically different effects on two listeners. I was at a party tonight where we started telling scary stories, ghost stories, and then stories of our own encounters with ghosts, and our own encounters with death. I've experienced enough supernatural events to know that it is real. While others passed it off as myth, I know the truth.

One person's story included their mom's battle with cancer, the treatments, her hair falling out, the weakness, and everything else that goes along with the disease. This person talked about how they learned how important it is to appreciate each day and their family. This person then proceeded to say, "If my mom died, I don't know what I would do. I wouldn't be in Sacramento, in Sinag-tala...I'd be submerging myself in the ocean."

That really struck me hard. See, my mom did die. October 18, 2000. Every year around this time I get depressed, distant, and find it more difficult to function, to get through the day. How many times did I think of committing suicide before she died, let alone afterwards. I feel like that tonight. What this person said didn't really help either. I wanted to tell this person to shut up, to just stop. I wanted to leave the room and just not ever come back. I will tell this person about how I felt, but this wasn't the time nor the place. A better time and place will suffice.

This person is lucky. They didn't learn that same lesson in as hard a manner as I had to learn. What they went through was hard, for sure. I know from experience. I went through it myself. Yet my pain runs deep like the ocean, where the water is still and cold...dead in a way. Maybe it's not fair for me to say that I went through worse pain. We all have our different tolerances. Yet I still feel that pain five years later.

This person talked about being traumatized by death. They don't know what that's like. Hold your mom's hand as they die and make the phone call to the coroner, to the hospital, to your mom's brothers and sisters. Then you will know. Organize the funeral for your own mom. That's my trauma.

They probably don't know what I went through. They probably haven't heard my story. It's probably not fair that I compare our experiences, because we are two different individuals. This person is younger than I was when my mom died. It hurts though, that this person said what they said.

I'm glad that this person's mom is alive. I'm glad that they can tell others to appreciate what they have. This person is truly blessed. Yet what this person said made me feel like I am not as blessed. I just wish I could've been as lucky.

I always say that people get what they deserve. It's another way of expressing the concept of karma. I deserved to lose my mom. I deserved to hold her hand as she took her last breath, as her heart beat its last time. I deserved that. And ultimately, I will deserve a fate that most people do not like to talk about - death. I should only be so lucky.

It hurts, even five years later.

I just received an e-mail in regards to the Ms. International 2005 Pageant. Precious Lara Quigaman, a Filipina, won, which is impressive in and of itself..However, one of her responses to a question she was asked apparently has caught many people's eyes.

She was asked, "What do you say to the people of the world who have typecasted Filipinos as nannies?"

She answered, "I take no offense on being typecasted as a nanny. But I do take offense that the educated people of the world have somehow denegrated the true sense and meaning of what a nanny is. Let me tell you what she is: She is someone who gives more than she takes. She is someone you trust to look after the very people most precious to you - your child, the elderly, yourself. She is the one who has made a living out of caring and loving other people. So to those who have typecasted us as nannies, thank you. it is a testament to the loving and caring culture of the Filipino people, and for that, I am forever proud and grateful of my roots and culture."

She successfully reframed the world view of what it means to be a nanny. In a larger sense, that's what it takes to break down barriers. When people saw American Indians or Africans as heathens and less sophisticated, it took a true analysis of their capabilities and lifestyle to show that their customs did not grow out of not being able to accomplish what more technology laden cultures could, but out of their circumstances and world view. For the starving person, a four-ounce-soup means life while the same soup may mean nothing to a rich and affluent king.

The same is true of people.

Rest in Peace Rosa Parks. At 92 years old, you've inspired millions with your actions.

I met Rosa Parks in Washington DC in 1997. I was at History Day, and was ready to watch an individual performance. Her grandson rolled her in, seated in a wheel chair, but vibrant and full of life. She was right next to me. I didn't know it was her until I heard a murmur come across the crowd and I heard someone state just loud enough, "That's Rosa Parks."

The performance was centered around Rosa Parks, and the movement that her actions sparked. Imagine the hero which you are about to depict coming to watch you. Absolutely amazing. When the 10-minute performance was over, she clapped gleefully at the end.

I turned to her and told her how much of a pleasure it was to meet her, a living legend. She talked about how it had all been planned, that other people had refused to give up her seats before her, but there wasn't a plan in place for them. They knew what was going to happen when she refused to give up her seat. They knew they were going to protest. And most of all, she said, they knew that they were going to succeed.

We need that kind of confidence today. We need that kind of foresight, that kind of hope. Ms. Parks, thank you for leading by your example and inspiring millions for years to come.

I'm somewhat surprised that I didn't write about this when it happened, but it's okay for me to back track. Last Sunday, at 7:40 AM, as I was watching a televangelist on TV from my couch, which is located right in front of a window, I heard a thud. I looked behind me towards the window, on which the drapes were closed. As I looked, I saw a shadow pass by the window.

Surprised, I went to get a bat. My uncle and sixteen-year-old cousin, the one who the family thought was pregnant, were in the nook eating breakfast. My uncle asked, "What are you doing?"

"I think someone jumped into our backyard," I responded.

As I exited through our patio sliding doors, I choked up on the bat and proceeded to circle around to the side of the house where I suspected the person was. An African American teenage boy stood by the wall. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

I don't exactly remember what he said, but it included that his name is Ronald Babineaux, he played football for Sacramento High, he knows my cousin and wanted to talk to her, she had asked him to come over, and he comes from a good family and wouldn't steal anything.

I proceeded to explain to him that most people that want to talk to people either call, or if they want to talk to people in person, ring the doorbell. At that point my uncle peeked his head over the fence and he made the comment that Ronald is my cousin's boyfriend. My uncle and cousin then came to the backyard and I went inside to get ready for church.

In retrospect, I wonder if I should've wailed on him for trespassing. Ronald got lucky, because I don't think other people would be so calm if they found someone jumping their fence into their backyard. If he ever does that again, I don't think that I will be as calm.

Between the pregnancy scare, the false alarm break-in, and the accident, I'm reminded that no matter how careful you are and how good you are, stuff is going to happen to you. How you deal with it is the only part of it that you are in control of. I'm thinking of getting a gun. Or a dog. Franz got me hooked on Akitas. But dogs are hard to take care of. At least I imagine that they are harder to take care of than guns. Then again, it would be harder to turn a dog on its owner than a gun.

On to better news. Gerald Bonifacio, the one I went to school with, was not the Gerry Bonifacio that was killed in Iraq. He wrote in his Xanga, that he hated being called Gerry. However, he also wrote in his Xanga that he is leaving the state for his service. God bless you Gerald.

Amelita and I went to the Cliffhouse today in San Francisco where I had swordfish with a white wine. She had a kobe beef pasta, which she didn't like so much. I had warned her that if you were at an oceanside restaurant, you should take advantage by having the seafood. Beef doesn't grow out in the sea. Regardless, I would have to recommend that place to everyone. It was nice because that is where I had proposed. It seems like only yesterday.

We took some nice pictures at Ocean Beach, went to Fisherman's Wharf and Pier 39. It was a little bit chilly, but I enjoyed the weather. I had a good, fun, relaxing time, just being away from it all and forgetting about my responsibilities for a little bit, which I didn't know I needed so badly. It doesn't make all the problems go away, but it does replenish your spirit to take them on again, and it is a peek at how good life will be when you get past it all.

Some people say that alcohol acts as "courage juice" or "truth serum." It's too bad that our own minds keep us from being courageous or truthful to that extent. I truly believe that complete honesty, even if the result may hurt another, is still better than lying. The truth hurts, but the truth withheld yields a deeper wound when discovered.

I got rear ended yesterday. Yet for some reason, I didn't take down the person's information that hit me. I did get the license plate number of the SUV that he was driving. So I guess if I feel anything, then I can still report it. Stupid Bobby.

I've been looking at ways to get a Filipino American history book approved for students in California. So far, I've found that California conducts statewide adoptions of isntructional materials for students in kindergarten through eighth grade. Information on the adoption process is available at http://www.cde.ca.gov/ci/cr/cf/imagen.asp. Local school districts conduct their own review and adption of textbooks and instructional materials for high schools, grades nine through twelve.

The California Department of Education (CDE) reviews supplementary instructional materials for complience with the legal and social requirements of the California Education Code. For example, the CDE sees how the materials depict females/males, racial/cultural diversity, corporate brand names and logos and a number of other criteria. There is a fee for this review. Once materials have passed the review, they are placed on an online database that schools refer to when purchasing supplementary materials.

Things are about to get BIG. Here's an e-mail I sent for approval to send Department-wide:

In 1992, the Filipino American National Historical Society (FANHS) declared October as Filipino American History Month, celebrating the first permanent settlement of Filipinos in the Continental United States. The earliest documented proof of this presence falls on October 18, 1587, with landings on the shores of California in Morro Bay, according to Lorraine Jacobs Crouchett in the July 1923 edition of the Quarterly of the California Historical Society.

In doing so, FANHS recognized that our nation's past would not be the same if not for the critically economic, cultural, social and other notable contributions Filipino Americans had made in countless ways toward the development of United States history. They also acknowledged that it is imperative for youths to have positive role models and to instill in them the importance of education, complemented with the richness of their ethnicities and the values of their legacies.

Inspired by this precedent and the formation of other ethnic celebration committees such as the Black History Month Committee and the Hispanic Heritage Planning Committee by California Department of Education employees, I seek individuals to aid in planning an array of events for Filipino American History month in October 2006.

If you are interested on being on the planning committee, or in helping in any way, please contact me at (916) 319-0800 or at broy@cde.ca.gov.

I saw a commercial for News 10 just now. It reported a Gerry Bonifacio being killed in Iraq. I know a Gerald Bonifacio who went to school with me at UC Davis. He left a strong impression on me when I was president of Mga Kapatid and we had gone to Friendship Games. He brought a unique perspective to the table for me, as he described himself more as an American Filipino than a Filipino American. He is a patriot true and true, and he taught me about respecting everyones nationalism. I pray that it's not the same person, but in either case, my prayers go out to you.

I was able to observe my very own "National Treasure." On Saturday, I went to see the United States Declaration of Independence, which was here in Sacramento until Sunday. It was quite an experience to be in the presence of an over 200-year-old document that set forth the birth of one of the strongest nations in the world for the last couple of centuries.

It's ironic, because as much as I complain about Americans, capitalism, their disregard for the lower-middle class and underdeveloped countries, I still respect American ideals. These ideals are far from being met, but the ideals are what keep America amazing. It's the struggle to attain these ideals that provide hope for so many of us. Yet reality tempers that hope. The struggle between the real and the ideal is one of constant flux. It changes second to second, with each move more and more strategic.

Most of us become used in this political game as pawns. Whether people like to admit it or not, we are all political. The difference is whether or not we are a political actor or a political victim. This means that either we affect politics or politics affects us. With that, I urge all who are eligible to be informed and to vote accordingly.

Part of my job is to keep up with the trends in education, and see what the think tanks, the media, and whoever else's mind I can pick in regards to education. I came across this article entitled. "Teaching of Asia Lacking?"  It's interesting. It's still pushing the whole capitalism agenda, but that doesn't surprise me.  Here is the link: http://www.presstelegram.com/news/ci_3093923

This is quite timely, since Governor Schwarzenegger vetoed AB15, which encourages the inclusion of lessons on Filipino World War II Veterans in high school history classes, as well as the use of oral history to bring relevance to the subject.