Month: November 2005

  • Life, you really threw a slider at me this time.


    A while back, I wrote about how a crisis was averted, and how my cousin, who I believe is not ready to raise a child of her own, was not pregnant. Touche, life. She gave birth yesterday at 4:20 PM. A boy, 5 lbs, 7 ozs. Small baby. I think he was premature. I don't even know his name.


    I feel stupid for not seeing it. Am I so naive as to not see that she was pregnant? She comes to the house every weekend. Moreso, how could my uncle not know? When I confronted him about this, he stated that the doctor lied and that the two times they went into the hospital to see if Jennifer was pregnant, the doctor said she wasn't. So, either my uncle really didn't know that my cousin was pregnant, or he's denying it to keep his story consistent.


    The family that Jennifer stays with during the weekdays said before that they didn't want her staying with them if she had a child. I strongly don't want her to stay with us as long as Aida, her mom and my uncle's girlfriend, is around.


    Aida drives me up the wall. I can barely deal with her when she comes on the weekends, let alone considering if she wanted to stay with us every day. No way. That's one option that I'm not going to consider.


    I've recommended that my uncle, Aida, Jennifer and the baby get an apartment together. He says he won't qualify for one and that he would go crazy if he lived with Aida. Yet he's still with her. Puzzling. Absolutely puzzling. I have neither the resources, the time, nor the ability to psychoanalyze my uncle.


    My uncle asked me last night if they could stay for a week. I said no. He asked me again this morning. I again said no, but I'll think about it. I am scared that they are going to push this envelope and stay longer and longer because they have nowhere else to go. There are two resources that are lacking for it to work. We don't have the room and I don't have the patience. I feel betrayed, used, abused, and don't want to be taken advantage of any more. "If you want to keep on getting what you're getting, keep on doing what you're doing."


    The father of the baby, Ronald Babineaux, is the guy that jumped my fence that Sunday morning. I also wrote about that here. Ronald's mom apparently told my uncle that she would help babysit.


    Why am I even involved? This is ridiculous.

  • RIP Pat Morita (June 28, 1932 - November 24, 2005)


    While most people know Pat Morita as Mr. Miyagi, I know him more as an individual that was born in Isleton, CA, fought a debilitating childhood disease of spinal tuberculosis, was interned as soon as he recovered, resettled in Sacramento, CA and went on to become an important actor for Asian Americans.


    Here in Sacramento, the Morita family operated a restaurant called "Ariaki Chop Suey." I've been to the former location and although it's not there anymore, knowing that it was once there is important to me.


    He also stated numerous times his understanding of the struggles of Asian Americans in society, often citing his experiences being interned as a newly able to walk child, as well as in Hollywood, where he sometimes took less than flattering roles.


    All in all though, being that he died on Thanksgiving Day, "Thank you Mr. Morita."

  • Occasionally, you run into diamonds, those people that really inspire and move you. You interaction with them may not even be direct or very long at all. Yet everything that you hear and know about them signals to you just how special they are. One of those people is Alice Parker, who retired from being the Director of our Special Education Division on Friday. It's odd, because working in this department has changed my whole view on Special Education students completely. Where I used to believe it was for mentally handicapped students alone, I now realize that it is a general term used for education programs that provide some affirmative action towards equal access to an education, for students that are mentally or physically handicapped.


    I always heard from many people that Alice Parker genuinely cared about what she did, in serving the underserved. Although I never worked with her directly, in my few encounters with her here in the Executive Office I got that same sense. She shared the story below with the department, which sort of demonstrates where she comes from in doing what she does.


    This is the story of Juan, whose family worked as migrant pickers from Mexico, through Texas, up to Indiana and Michigan and then back again, following crops as they ripened. Juan was a kindergartner, whose family had lighted into a small, rural farming community in Indiana for the majority of the year. I worked with him as a speech student, probably incorrectly, but I did. He had lovely, round brown eyes that glowed; he was an eager learner and a child you could not easily forget. One day at recess after the final bell had rung, I noticed Juan lagging behind, not lining up, and not coming into the classroom. I called him over and squatted down to talk to him. I said, “Juan, you should hurry, your teacher will be waiting.”He said he didn’t want to go. I said, “But Juan, all the other children are in line and your teacher will miss you.” He shook his head, then looking me straight in the eyes with his beautiful brown ones he told me something which changed my life forever:“ My teacher doesn’t like me.” I said, “Oh, Juan, why do you say that, she is always smiling when she talks to you.” He shook his head slowly, and said, “No, Alice, she doesn’t, cause she only smiles with her mouth, not her eyes and heart.”


    I knew then, as well as I know now, the Juan’s of this world need people who show up fully, who are genuine in what they do, who are passionate about doing what’s right, not just the right thing, and who know that everyday, what they do must be colored by the vision of a child.

    It's oh so true. I think that being genuine is one facet to being that diamond. Just as a perfectly cut diamond is chiseled to perfection, removing the unnecessary parts, people need to shed their faults, their weaknesses, to become that much more valuable. Yet each cut diamond is cut precisely for a particular setting. A diamond in one setting may not be as beautiful in another one. Circumstances work in much the same way on people. For example, if a person kills another person in defense of their minor daughter, that is often seen as heroic. However, if a person kills without the intention of defending anything but their right to kill, it's not seen in nearly the same light.

  • There's a rally on the UC Davis quad tomorrow at 12:00 PM for some cowardly acts of vandalism against the Filipino American community. Read on:


    Filipino American group's signs vandalized
    A-frames with painted flags found defaced
    By LAUREN BECKER / Aggie News Writer



      Vandals have recently targeted Mga Kapatid, a Filipino American organization at UC Davis, defacing the club’s flag on four separate occasions.


      Editor of the organization’s newsletter Alex Castro said Oct. 12 was the first date that Mga Kapatid was struck. He said he and other club members found an A-frame that held the Filipino flag unscrewed and turned upside down so the red part of the flag was on top instead of the blue, which represents times of war in the Filipino community.


      “This really scared me because someone must know the meaning of doing something like this,” Castro said. “I was wondering if someone from my own community is responsible.”


      Another act involves the removal of a Filipino flag from the Memorial Union on Oct. 20. On the same day, group members found another A-frame floating in the Arboretum river behind the theater.


      “I feel so dishonored and so disrespected,” he said. “Even though it’s just a picture of a flag, it is my flag and my community that is being hurt.”


      Last Wednesday, Castro reported finding another A-frame in the truck of a UC Davis Grounds vehicle that had been burned and disassembled.


      Castro said he reported these acts to the Office of Student Judicial Affairs at UC Davis but was only able to file a testimony until suspects are determined. He said he is planning on taking this issue to the UC Davis Police Department and possibly the Davis Police Department.


      Considering the weight of an A-frame, Castro said there must be more than one suspect, because it would have been impossible for one person to carry an A-frame alone.


      He said the organization is planning on taking down the remaining A-frames to avoid other acts of vandalism.


      “I think as a Davis community, we need to unite and not let actions like this happen because it is so disrespectful,” he said. “This is an action against a person’s nationality and identity and that is unacceptable.”


      Students with any additional information regarding the vandalism of Mga Kapatid can contact SJA at 752-1128.


    LAUREN BECKER can be reached at campus@californiaaggie.com.

  • There's some thing or things that just are not right. I can't seem to put my finger on what they are, but I have been feeling very uneasy lately. Apparently it's expressing itself outwardly as well, because my coworkers and acquaintances are asking me if everything is alright, with concerned countenances.


    There are definitely circumstances that could be better - financially, professionally, emotionally, etc. However, there isn't really anything that I could singly pinpoint as a major source of stress or frustration. Maybe it's just the progression and culmination of years of pressure, mostly self-inflicted. I could be considered a masochist by some.


    What's your worst memory? It's still living and breathing, sort of eating away at you, from the inside out of your mind and body. It still has a negative impact on your health and everything you attempt to do. It will probably affect you your whole life. Maybe these are all remnants of a bad memory.


    Part of all this is that I'm tired of being late. I was always the late bloomer, failing multiple times before I could succeed. John Maxwell says to fail your way to success. That's very true. Abraham Lincoln lost multiple elections before he was elected President of the United States. I keep on hearing about people in their mid-twenties or younger that are at the top of their game, in their prime. Is where I am right now the pinnacle of my life? I guess that is ultimately up to me.


    Filipinos always seem to be late. Most say it is Filipino time. But is late really better than never? Another thing that most Filipinos believe in are ghosts and the supernatural. I realized that my fixation with the supernatural is probably rooted in me desire to not be forgotten when I die. If my spirit can live on, then I, in essence live on, resulting in the concept that I can still effect change and interact with others. Hence I will not be forgotten. Could this be the main reason why people believe in ghosts?

  • Below I'm posting a full version of an article that is being implemented into a literary piece for the Filipino Theatre and Performing Arts Association December show. This is some pretty insightful material.


    An American heroine
    First posted 02:17am (Manila time) Nov 04, 2005
    By Michael L. Tan
    Inquirer News Service






    EARLIER THIS WEEK, ROSA PARKS LAY IN STATE IN Washington’s Capitol Rotunda, an honor usually reserved for presidents and other distinguished American men. I mean men in the literal sense, Rosa Parks being the first woman to be honored that way in Washington. It was a fitting homage, one that came almost 50 years after she stood up for her rights, by refusing, paradoxically, to stand up.


    It was Dec. 1, 1955 in Montgomery, Alabama, where buses were divided into two sections-one for whites, the other for "coloreds." Rosa Parks, a seamstress in a department store, got on the bus and sat in the first row of the colored section. But the white section eventually filled up and when a white man came in, Rosa Parks should have, by law, given up her seat and moved back.


    She refused to give up her seat, was arrested, jailed and fined $14. Five days later, thousands of blacks (I'll use this term rather than the currently politically correct "African-American") gathered in a Baptist church, where a young minister named Martin Luther King Jr. called for action.


    That sparked a 381-day boycott of Montgomery's bus system, ending only when the US Supreme Court ruled that the segregated busing policy was illegal. By then, American blacks had been galvanized into action, launching a civil rights movement that was to transform the nation.


    Blocked history


    I grew up learning American history, here and in the United States, where blacks were, well, blocked out. I learned about George Washington and his cherry tree, and about Abraham Lincoln and how he freed black slaves.


    Years later, I had to unlearn some of that history. The cherry tree incident never happened, it turns out. And yes, Lincoln helped to emancipate black slaves but almost a hundred years after Lincoln, buses and schools were still segregated and in many states, there were still all kinds of racist laws and policies.


    Last week, I wrote about how the Code of Kalantiaw was fabricated as part of our precolonial history, but many other countries' historians have their little sins, too, of commission as well as omission. The history of America, until fairly recently, was mainly a history of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant American males, a version which, unfortunately, got exported as well to many countries like the Philippines.


    It's time then we unblocked American history, and learned who made that country what it is today. That means giving Rosa Parks and others like her their space in history books, including those we use in the Philippines.


    Tired


    But, you might ask, what does Rosa Parks and black civil rights movement have to do with us Filipinos?


    A lot. In the same way that the Philippines' People Power revolution of 1986 is mentioned in schools in other countries, the story of Rosa Parks speaks of the sheer power of civil disobedience.


    Rosa Parks reminds us that sometimes it's good to feel tired, too, and angry. The story goes that Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat because she was tired from a long day's work. In her autobiography, she refutes that story: "I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. . . No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in."


    Giving in. That phrase resonates for Filipinos, in these trying times. We give in all the time to feckless leaders and bosses. We're a nation of martyrs. And when we go overseas, we take that mind-set with us, ready to be servile. When victimized, we bottle up our rage. Sometimes, as in 1986, we see that rage transformed into heroic valor; more often though, it turns inwards and we allow ourselves to be slowly consumed.


    Racism


    Like American blacks, we suffer from racism, often from the very people we serve as we slave away overseas. Our response? We create reverse racism, spitting out our disdain for the "Kano," the "Japs," the "Arabo," the "Intsik"-behind their backs, of course.


    Even worse, we have what the psychologists call counter-transference, training our sights on other "races" perceived to be lower than ourselves on the totem pole. Filipinos in America are notoriously racist, with all kinds of pejorative terms for blacks and Hispanics. In turn, we get labeled "flip" by other groups.


    We try, sometimes, to be politically correct: "Oh, African-Americans are such good musicians"-which is what the whites are saying, too, about "flips" and "Hispanics" and good luck, may more of your tribe become American Idols.


    My gripe though is that just like American whites, we claim to enjoy black music, equated with Michael Jackson and rap, without understanding how black music laid the foundations for jazz, rock and even American classical music. Neither do we understand how black music rose out of their daily lives and their history as an underclass.


    It's not surprising our appreciation of black culture is limited to local artists aping mindless rap routines and that we know little about the achievements of other black Americans in the arts and sciences. How many Filipinos know, for example, the simple yet elegant poetry of Maya Angelou?


    We need to look for the common threads to the struggles for human rights, whether in the United States, South Africa or the Philippines. We need to understand how racism continues to be pervasive even in international affairs, and that all too often, America continues to treat us as if we were still their colony, as if we were still their "little brown brothers" (and sisters).


    Conversely, we need to understand how the fight for human rights is in fact a global civil rights movement. Young Filipinos need to learn more about how Rosa Parks didn't just influence the American civil rights movement but also African freedom fighters thousands of miles away. When South African President Nelson Mandela, who had himself spent years in prison for daring to defy apartheid, visited Detroit in 1990, he walked past dignitaries and headed straight for Rosa Parks, calling out "Rosa, Rosa, Rosa Parks" and acknowledging she had inspired South Africans in their own struggle. Three years later in a speech delivered in the States, he compared her to David tackling Goliath.


    As we expose our schoolchildren to Rosa Parks and to Nelson Mandela, we can fight the stereotypes Filipinos have about blacks. More importantly, we might learn from them why self-respect is so important. When we learn to acquire that self-respect, we can then ask the world to respect us.