On Friday, the Daily Double clue during the Double Jeopardy round was quite pleasing to me. The category was Independence Day and the clue read, "This country earned its independence from the United States in 1946, and celebrates it on June 12." Immediately I yelled out, "The Philippines!" in delight. My lola laughed at me. The contestant, who sounded like she was guessing, got the right answer. It's the small things that bring real happiness. The thirty minutes that I spend with my lola to watch that show is priceless. To see and hear her laugh, even at my own expense, was quite valuable to me.

The clue was quite strange though, because the date that the Philippines received its independence in 1946 was July 4, coinciding with the United States Independence Day. The June 12 date goes all the way back to 1898, when independence from Spain was declared. Of course, none of that was explained in the clue.

I saw V for Vendetta this weekend. That was a good movie. Much of the dialogue was very poetic. People lack that type of panache nowadays. The message of personal freedom was very apparent as well as that of the strength of humanity. These themes come around often, but it usually gets lost in the glitter of Hollywood. This wasn't one of those cases. I felt it was quite a complete movie and would certainly recommend it. Afterwards I hung out more with my fraternity brother, his girlfriend and one of his high school friends. It's always good to reconnect with people.

Of course that was after watching Cinderella Waltz which was being performed by high school students at the California School for the Deaf, Fremont. It was quite an entertaining production that modeled the prince after the artist formerly known as Prince. All the students are deaf and so they did their lines in sign language as interpreters read scripts as their voices. I could really appreciate that because it's hard enough just acting. Then to add to the fact that the performers have to deliberately speak with their hands is amazing. I often times don't know what to do with my hands while I'm on stage, even when I'm supposed to do something natural. Maybe for the students, it is natural. Regardless, it's amazing.

I'm not so sure about the idea of foreign investors buying condominiums and other real estate in the Philippines. The future long-term damage that this will have on the national economy will not be outweighed by any short-term benefits to the country.

I attended a presentation by a newly formed business here in Sacramento called "Balikbahay," which means going back home, or something to that effect. There were representatives from Rockwell, a development firm that is supposedly very popular. They had a ritzy presentation and it looked great. The price for the average Californian is more than affordable, especially compared with what they pay for real estate in California.

A couple of things stood out at the presentation. First of all, the design of the 41-story high rise building of condominiums were inspired after the rice terraces. That was pretty cool. Then I learned that the architect was a United States based firm. Can we say outsourcing? Why didn't they hire a Philippine architect to do it? It's like how we in America say buy American.

Secondly, each condominium had a maid's room. It was blatantly displayed on all the literature and the representative also highlighted that feature. This just kind of shows that the building is not meant for the general Philippine citizen, most of whom live well below the poverty line. I don't know the current statistics, but something like 10% of the population control 90% of the country's wealth.

Speaking of wealth, the wealth is not even held in the hands of Philippine citizens. It is held in foreign investors. Which leads me to my problem in the marketing of this business. It's not meant for the average Philippine citizen. In fact, it invites more foreign investors to buy up more property and control more wealth. The result is a larger gap between the lower class and the upper class.

Here's where what we do will be important. Either people purchase property and allow their family that are still in the Philippines to live there, which wouldn't be as bad as if a foreign business person lives in the same property. I just have a problem with the land not being used for its people. Of course, that's not even taking into consideration the environmental effects of all this so-called development.

I purchased a new painting yesterday. It's one of my goals to gather a collection of Filipino and Filipino American art and maybe one day display it for the world. I've only three paintings at the moment, but I'm working on it. Art can be very expensive and I'm not quite at a level to afford the more expensive pieces.

This is really part of a larger goal - to get the reputation of people of Philippine descent out to the general public. I still feel that Filipinos, particularly in the media and entertainment sectors, are overshadowed by the label of Asian, and lumped into that group, without the recognition of our unique history and culture. Geographically we are from the continent of Asia, and we share some similar cultural traits as other Asians, but to ignore our history of colonization by Spain, Japan, and then the United States for so long is to ignore a significant part of our heritage.

That being said, I am very aware that other European nations colonized other countries in Asia as well, such as the French in Vietnam and the British in India. Let's not forget that Asian countries have also colonized fellow Asian countries, like when China took control of Tibet. The result is an amalgamation of variety within the Asian continent. It makes me wonder how beneficial it is to use the word Asian. While it provides for one single voting bloc around which to rally people, and create political power, there certainly are negatives that result from it as well. It's a catch-22.

If we look at the use of American, the same thing can be said. The nationalism that is generated by that term can be very powerful, yet most Americans can tell if a certain individual is from Alabama as opposed to California. Here's the difference. It is one country, not a whole continent. I don't believe that the term North American would generate the same feeling. So why do people use the terms Asians and Africans, as opposed to the more specific national labels, like they do here in North America? I wonder if it is just an action that we do here in North America. Even just saying North American, as opposed to American, may sound awkward, but it would be a good experiment to conduct.

Happy birthday mom. May you rest in peace. March 12, 1940 - October 18, 2000. It's been an emotional weekend for me.

Friday was my lola's doctor appointment. Finally, the doctor recommended putting lola on calcium and vitamin D supplements and he prescribed Fosamax, a treatment for osteoporosis, and regular gravity-based exercise. It's sort of annoying that I read about the calcium, vitamin D, and Fosamax regimen when I was researching lola's injury in a health encyclopedia, but the doctor didn't recommend it until a month later, which included two falls. Maybe he didn't think it was time to prescribe it yet. I'll try to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, I'm not the doctor. I just hope this new cocktail of vitamins, medication, and exercise will prevent further injury. One thing the doctor said bothered me. He said that my lola's blood tests indicate that she's malnourished. We eat together, so I know it's not what she's eating, it's just the lack of volume that she eats. I'm sure I'm going to feel like I'm forcing her to eat, but if that's what I have to do, then that's what I'll do.

Yesterday I went to Fairfield to attend the confirmation of my Goddaughter. She was so proud of herself, and I was so happy for her. It was great seeing her again. The last time I saw her was Christmas. I hate to be one of those holiday relatives. I really have to do better at keeping in touch. Lola even came with me, which felt really good.

On top of it all, my uncle is trying to lecture me on taking lola back to the Philippines. The plan is that if she wants to come back, I'll leave again and pick her up. My uncle says that is wasting money. Personally, I can't compare my lola's happiness and comfort to any amount of money in the world. When my mom was sick, I made the decision that her comfort at home was more important than her being in a hospital. I sitll believe that quality of life is more important that the quantity of life. Whatever it takes to keep lola happy. Again, that's what I'll do. In some strange, weird way, uncle must care about lola. I just don't understand his logic, and I gave up a long time ago in trying to figure it out.

Lola continues to talk to me about the past, and about our family. These are stories that I never heard before. I find it so revealing, not only about our own family, but about my lola, and her personal struggles and triumphs. She told me that her parents and husband all died during World War II, victims of malaria and a Japanese army that prevented the transport of much needed medicine to fight the preventable disease. Both my mom and my uncle never met their father, because my mom was only nine months old and my uncle was still in the womb. It's strange that I never knew that. Maybe that's why my mom tried so hard to supply me with a father. History certainly repeats itself. We can change that legacy though, hopefully for the better and not the worse.

I have another coming home story for you all. Fortunately, when I arrived at home, my lola was downstairs and washing dishes. That means a couple of things. She was doing well yesterday. That was good to see. This, however, is tempered by the knowledge that the mind and body reach a level of clarity in preparing for death. I not only heard of this phenomenon, but witnessed it in my mother while she was on her death bed. I wonder if that is the case here. Regardless, it was good to see her up and about.

The ultimately less important but exciting for me news is that I received an e-mail this morning. It reads,

"Dear Bobby Roy:

On behalf of the program planning committee, we are pleased to inform you that your proposal has been accepted for the Filipino American National Historical Society conference to be held June 29 through July 1, 2006 at the Renaissance Ilikai Waikiki Hotel in Honolulu, Hawai`i...."

So if anyone wants to go and see me present my paper, but more importantly, have fun in Hawaii, let this be an invitation to do just that. For one, I could use the support. Secondly, from what I hear, Hawaii is amazing! I just have to withhold my reservations about what tourism does to the native Hawaiian population, for the time being, or at least do my best to not utilize services that exploits them. Having said that, you may download registration forms from the FANHS web site, http://www.fanhs-national.org/. On the opening page, click on "Conference," then click on "Conference Registration," and scroll down and click on either the .doc or .pdf version of the "Conference Registration Form."

By the way, if anyone has airline or hotel (Renaissance Ilikai Waikiki Hotel in Honolulu) hook-ups, please let me know, as I could really use them.

I came home today and my lola was home alone again. From downstairs I could hear her clamoring in the restroom and went to check on her. It turns out that she was in the bathtub and wasn't able to stand up. She said she didn't fall, but I just think that she has too much pride to say that she did. The door was locked and when I finally got in, I saw that she was squatting in the restroom. I asked her how long she was there and she said two hours. I asked her what time she went to take a bath and she said at 1:00 PM. It was already 5:30 PM when I arrived home from work, so she was there for more than two hours. Obviously I'm going to have to talk to my uncle. As I picked her up I could tell that she was shivering and cold. The bottom of the tub was still slippery because the water was trickling into the tub from the spigot.

I may have inadvertently hurt her as I picked her up. I don't necessarily have the lightest touch. At times like this I wish I had more of a medical background. Once I finally got her to her room I tried to rub her extremities, to get the circulation to improve and I turned up her space heater as well as the main house heater. I apologized to her, but all the apologizing in the world would not quell my guilt. This situation is one that I really need to look at and analyze.

She seemed in good spirits soon after, which was a positive sign. I could feel her squeezing my hand more and more. She commented that my hands were so warm. Hers, on the other hand, were so cold. Soon, she was telling me more about, my uncle's eldest daughter, Melissa, her sister, and my trip to the Philippines when I was two. My cousin is very pretty, I wish I had a closer relationship with her. That's something that I need to work on. Lola's stories also remind me of how mean of a child I was. Maybe I still am mean. I certainly know I have a mean streak. Those stories always indicate to me that her mind is still sharp. She remembers them so vividly. It's not as though she repeats the same stories over and over. I always learn more and more by speaking with her, because she always reveals more about our family history, and our land there. Putting that into context of the Philippine and Filipino American history is always so revealing and rewarding. In addition, any questions that I ask she answers very adeptly. Her body, however, is weak, and I know how frustrating that can be. She talks about dying now, saying, "You never know when God wants you to pass." It's oh so true - you never know. All the more reason to express how you feel about someone any time that you have the opportunity. Don't take that time for granted.

The talk went well. I received an ovation in the middle of my speech, which, combined with my nervousness, resulted in me losing my train of thought. A shortage of time also interrupted my address. I do hope I will have more opportunities like that. It not only was public speaking practice for me, but I also was able to see the reports that the California Department of Education in action and really being utilized to assist the students, just as they were meant to. To top it all off, I may have found possible performers for the Filipino American History Month Celebration.

The Chi Rho Omicron (XPO) formal was over the weekend in Fresno. Once again, I had a wonderful time there. My blind date was quite awesome, and left a strong impression on me. That's no easy feat, if I do say so myself. It was like we were kindred spirits, talking about Filipina empowerment, supernaturalism and spirituality, and family. We even discovered that we knew some of the same people. It was very refreshing to meet a person like her. She must've complemented me, because I received some compliments directed toward her. I'm not sure, though, if she enjoyed herself, as much as I sure hope she did. There were just moments that she wasn't feeling well, and I just wasn't sure if I was being a good host. I have gone dateless for a number of years now, not that I wasn't trying to find a date, but it just would not work out. However, I would go regardless, to see the brothers and be an example that the brotherhood is not over once you graduate from school. As usual, it was good seeing all the brothers and catching up with them, especially after not seeing them for quite some time. It is as if the fire of XPO is stoked within me whenever we have these all-chapter events. This year was no different.

I have a fairly eventful next few months. I'm pretty serious about trying to get on my calendar two months ahead of time. Not only am I going to see Chicago, but I also have a production of Cinderella Waltz to attend that is being produced by the California Department of Education School for the Deaf, Fremont, my Goddaughter's confirmation, two weddings (one in Folsom and one in Corona) and one wedding shower (Sacramento), on top of trying to take my lola to the Philippines, which isn't something that one can rush. I don't have a lot of vacation time, so we'll see how that all works out. I'd like to take in the Philippines a little bit, but I would need at least two weeks to do that.

My personal projects are going well. The book, Filipino American History Month celebration planning, the fraternity incorporation, are all progressing at their own pace. I have my hands in all of them. The great thing is that they are all related and they all bring me happiness to work on. I really see all of these as ground-breaking work and am proud to be a part of them.

That's not to say that I do not get frustrated with other aspects of society. There is way too much wrong in the world to be completely happy. The corruption, the deception, the prejudice, and other vices of the world drive some people to continue to work for social justice. Life is about balance. We need positive energies to counteract the negative ones that we are seemingly constantly exposed to. I hope that I can be that positive energy for some people. In my world, we would all seek to be just that for one another.