A friend sent me this message earlier today, and I thought I'd share it. Like she pointed out, it's true in all communities.

"Remember what I was telling you before. I think this is for all men, not just black men, but it was circulated in the black community. Thanks.

Good Black Men

Good Black Men are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls, and at work. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn't flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. He might not wear a suit or push a Lexus. He might not have a body like Tyson with a Denzel face. But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back rather than someone
who turns your head.

A good man doesn't agree wholeheartedly with everything you say. He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite. He doesn't declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, etc. he is! (he won't have to because it shows). He has his own opinions and yours may clash, but he doesn't have to degrade you to prove he's right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.

A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist. He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect. He needs to feel that you don't live to catch him doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!"

A good man isn't insecure about his woman having great achievements. In fact, he is her number one supporter and becomes disappointed with her when she begins to lose herself, especially for the sake of not hurting his feelings, or only wanting to make him happy. His happiness comes with seeing her excel in her dreams and accomplishing her goals. For as she excels and is exalted, a good woman will bring her good man right along with her.

A good man doesn't necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine's gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him. Don't judge him by TV standards. No one is really living a fairy tale. You'll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that our men are no good. It's just not true.

A good black man is a man of his word. He says what he means and means what he says. His word is his bond. He never leaves you wondering if he is going to call or show up - he is dependable. A good black man has a love and a heart for God, or his higher power. As his relationship and love with and for God or higher power grows so will his relationship and love with and for you grow... Our beautiful black men we salute you, appreciate you and thank you for who you are and all you've done."

Some people believe that racism no longer exists in America. While I concede that America has taken some large steps to rid themselves or racism, it still exists. However, on April 21, 2007, another step was taken, with someo f the youth of America, although it doesn't seem to be all of them. Which still indicates to me that racism still exists...even though people are working hard to get rid of it.

Georgia school has integrated prom
Associated Press - April 22, 2007

ASHBURN, Ga. For decades, "prom night" in Ashburn, Georgia has meant two separate unofficial events -- one for blacks, one for whites. Each group would raise money for its own private party.

Until last night. That's when dozens of seniors at Turner County High School -- blacks and whites -- gathered in a city auditorium that was transformed for one night into a tropical scene.

Parents and teachers looked on, as the students arrived by horse-drawn carriage and by stretch limousine. Restaurants were packed with classmates treating their dates to fancy meals.

The county's school superintendent says he "couldn't be more proud." He says the change needed to come from the students themselves.

And it did. At the start of the school year, the school's four senior class officers made it clear that they wanted an official prom, with everyone invited.

The money spent on the prom included five-thousand dollars that came in from supporters around the country.

The black student who's president of the senior class calls it "a fresh start."

But blacks still easily outnumbered whites at the dance, and many whites still attended their own private party a week before.

I read a very well written article regarding the reaction of Korean Americans toward the shootings at Virginia Tech. What really stuck our for me, however was that the writer emphasized that Korean Americans are Americans first. Some would point out that Korean comes before American in Korean American. Yet the argument can be made that Korean in the phrase Korean American is an adjective, not the subject. American is actually the subject. I have written before how in 2000, a Mga Kapatid member called himself an American Filipino. Back then, I took it as indicating that he was identified more as an American than a Filipino. Ultimately, one's identity is theirs to define, and theirs alone. Therefore, a debate on semantics is moot. It is, however, interesting.

Koreans Aren't to Blame

By Adrian Hong

Friday, April 20, 2007; Page A31, The Washington Post

Monday's events at Virginia Tech were tragic. As our nation mourns, countries around the world continue to send condolences and words of encouragement to the American people.

Included in the aftermath of these shootings has been the response of Koreans in the United States. Many first-generation immigrants, part of a diverse and vibrant community, have taken it upon themselves to apologize for the actions of gunman Cho Seung Hui, citing a sense of collective guilt and shame simply by virtue of a shared ethnicity.

This week Washington state Sen. Paull Shin issued an emotional apology for Cho's actions to fellow lawmakers and staff, and he cited American  sacrifices for South Korea during the Korean War. News reports indicate that several Koreans have approached police stations throughout the nation, apologizing. Leaders of many Korean immigrant organizations have spoken of a sense of guilt and shame, apologizing on the shooter's behalf.

South Korea's ambassador to Washington, Lee Tae Shik, spoke at a candlelight vigil I attended Tuesday night in Fairfax County. Through tears, he said that the Korean American community needed to "repent," and he suggested a 32-day fast, one day for each victim, to prove that Koreans were a "worthwhile ethnic minority in America." More than 600 people attended the hastily organized vigil. Many in the audience, overwhelmingly composed of Korean immigrants, sobbed openly as they prayed for healing in America in the wake of this tragedy. Many also expressed a personal sense of guilt.

Media outlets have printed and broadcast remarks from Koreans ranging from leaders of civic organizations to men on the street; many seemed to home in on a specific sentiment -- that Koreans somehow felt as though they were responsible for the terrible events in Blacksburg.

Korean Americans do not need to apologize for what happened Monday. All of us, as fellow Americans, feel tremendous sorrow and grief at the carnage. Our community, as it should, has expressed solidarity with and sent condolences to the victims, and as Americans, Koreans certainly should take part in the healing process.

But the actions of Cho Seung Hui are no more the fault of Korean Americans than the actions of the Washington area snipers were the fault of African Americans. Just as those crimes were committed by deranged individuals acting on their own initiative, and not because of any ethnic grievance or agenda, these were isolated acts by an individual, not a reflection of a community.

Further, it is inappropriate for the Korean ambassador to the United States to apologize on behalf of Korean Americans and speak of the need to work toward being accepted as a "worthwhile minority" in this nation. While the Korean ambassador represents the interests of Korean nationals in the United States, and the interests of the Republic of Korea, he does not speak for naturalized Koreans here.

Culturally, Koreans have a strong sense of collective identity -- both in happiness and in suffering. This is part of the reason Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward, the most valuable player in last year's Super Bowl, was claimed as a Korean son in Seoul and celebrated as a hero, even though he had lived in the United States all but the first year of his life. Korean culture also includes the concept of han, a shared sense of injustice and pain carried through generations; this is, Koreans say, a result of much of the oppression the nation has faced in past centuries by regional powers.

The Korean claim to guilt and shame on behalf of Cho Seung Hui is well-intentioned but misguided. We are Americans first. While we share an affinity with Korea and appreciate and respect Korean culture, at the end of the day we are Americans. Our president is in the White House, not in the Blue House. And our response to this crisis should be as Americans, not as Koreans.

Many Koreans interviewed by the media have also expressed concerns of retaliatory attacks, and some international students voiced fears of losing their status in the United States. Thankfully, it seems that few groups Have voiced hate or advocated retribution against Koreans at large for this tragedy. (Some media outlets have even stopped referring to the gunman's ethnicity, mentioning his South Korean citizenship in passing. He is now known simply as "Cho" or "the gunman.")

Moreover, it is absurd to think that the United States would somehow pursue retaliatory measures on international students from Korea, or any nation, as a result of such an attack. The other 100,000 Korean nationals studying in the United States are largely model citizens and tend to be quite engaged on their campuses and in their communities. Perhaps this fear stems from our collective experience in April 1992, when Koreans became scapegoats for simmering ethnic tensions and, somehow, were seen as responsible for the Rodney King beatings, and nearly 2,000 Korean businesses were the targets of rioting and looting. But I believe America has moved beyond that. Today, no Koreans should be afraid to leave their homes or to attend school.

I have great faith in the American people. We have come a long way as a Nation and understand today that the actions of an individual do not reflect on a community. I believe we have moved beyond the days when we would assign guilt and penance to an entire race based on isolated incidents.

While the past two days have brought random acts of juvenile hate and Immature racial slurs and acts, the vast majority of Americans understand that Korean Americans were victims along with the rest of America -- that we all took part in the tragedy at Virginia Tech, regardless of race or ethnicity.

So I ask the Koreans of America to please continue expressing your heartfelt condolences. They are helping the healing process. But please do not apologize. The actions of Cho Seung Hui were not your fault. If our heads are hung low, they should be in grief, not in apology and shame. This tragedy is something for all of us to bear, examine and try to prevent as Americans, together.

So many things to think about but nothing to worry about. That's a maxim that I do my best to follow. We should not go through life worrying about things as opposed to think about how to make things better. Worrying, in and of itself, does not yield any solutions. So let's not spend so much time worrying. Let's think about the problems and come up with solutions. We all know that there is much in the world that can be better. There is no greater source of pride than being able to make it a little better for someone else.

I received a call on Thursday that I have moved on to the next round of testing to become a bone marrow donor. I go in for a blood collection tomorrow and they will test my blood further. I am still not a sure thing yet. I have heard of people going through four rounds of testing and still being turned away. It is out of my hands at this point.

On Friday, I addressed a few high school students and just urged them to go after their dreams. It meant a lot when one called me afterward and told me that it inspired him. If I touched just one, that was good enough for me.

An associate of mine wrote the following in a card for me:

"Bobby,

A great deal of the joy of life consists in doing perfectly, or at least to the best of one's ability, everything which [one] attemps to do. There is a sense of satisfaction, a pride in surveying such a work - a work which is rounded, full, exact, complete in all its parts - which the superficial man, who leaves his work in a slovenly, slipshod, half-finished condition, can never know. It is this conscientious completeness which turns work into art. The smallest thing well done, becomes artistic.

Thank you for all your hard work."

I felt that they could not have written this themselves and found that it is quoted from William Mathews in Elbert Hubbard's Scrapbook. New York, NY: Wm. W. Wise & Co., 1932, p. 19.

Despite the fact that it was not original, the idea that it was put to paper and given to me is still flattering. I do take such care in my work that it is my art. If we all just did that, we each would have so much to be proud of.