Today, I reached a new milestone in my professional life. I passed my one-year probation with the California Department of Education in the Office of the State Superintendent of Public Instruction Jack O'Connell, as a Staff Services Analyst. It was a tough year, starting with the creation, development, and implementation of a new Correspondence Tracking System (CTS). On top of the ups and downs of the workplace, as well as the ebbs and flows of my personal life, I have to say that I am proud of myself.

On this final day of probation, I sat down with my Manager and she threw some praise my way. She talked about how my attitude is my best asset, because I can look at a challenge and be confident that we can surpass it. I had expressed that I take pride in my work, doing my best at it, because I understand that it is a reflection of me, my organization, and the leaders of my organization. She understood that and reflected it back to me.

My review, however, was not perfect, and my biggest flaw is staying organized. My desk is not of the pristine and orderly condition that would reflect someone of the Executive Office. I need to do better. I think some more desk organizers may help. It would be a good time to invest in one, as well as get rid of some of the non-related clutter on my desk, such as my Superman memorabilia, fraternity momentos, and penguin stuffed animals.

I hope that I can reach a new milestone in my personal life, one that parallels my success in my professional life. Even there, however, I am not as organized as I need to be. My attitude towards my personal life is probably not as equally positive or confident as in my professional life. I have more work to do in that area. Knowing that, I should probably pick up some books and watch some motivational videos and apply some of the concepts. My hope of course, is that I can find a better balance in my life.

I am a man affiliated with heroes.

For example, yesterday, my fraternity brother saved a woman from being raped. Apparently, at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday, September 15, 2007, a friend of his and he were hanging out in his apartment. He lives across from the pool and the laundry room. They heard screaming and saw a man trying to force a woman wearing a bikini top into the laundry room, apparently to rape her. They ran toward the room and were able to chase the man off, but they could not catch him. When they returned to the woman, they could see swelling from where she had been hit, and her arms were bruising from where the man had a hold of her. They stayed with her as they called the police and some of her family and friends.

However, once the police came, different eyewitness reports conflicted, from a white ribbed tank top and denim shorts to a black ribbed tank top and board shorts. So it remains to be seen if the police will be able to catch the perpetrator.

All in all, it is a reminder that we all need to be more careful. This happened in broad daylight. It was not late at night when most people believe it is more dangerous. Even I feel less comfortable going to an ATM machine late a night. It is too bad that people are willing to victimize others. We need to be more vigilant for ourselves and others because of it.

On September 11, a day known for bravery and for tragedy, we remember ordinary people who became extraordinary heroes through a variety of crises. I offer the names of some inspiring individuals of Philippine heritage in salute to the uncommon valor of common people.

A couple of unheralded heroes were an actual couple. Gabriela and Diego Silang were a married couple that led a revolt from 1762-1763 against the British invasion of Manila. On December 14, 1762, Diego Silang declared the independence of Ilocandia, naming the state "Free Ilocos". Silang was killed on May 28 1763 by Miguel Vicos, a friend who was paid by the Spanish to murder Silang. He died in his wife's arms, who continued the struggle and became known as the Joan of Arc of the Ilocos. She was ultimately executed by Spanish authorities on September 10, 1763.

Another fighter was Gregoria de Jesus, the Mother of the Philippine Revolution. She was the custodian of the documents and the seal of the Katipunan. Andres Bonifacio was her husband as well. Her nickname was Lakambini, which is Tagalog for goddess or muse. She lived from May 15, 1875 to March 15, 1943.

Someone who went deeper than one dive is Victoria Manalo Draves, a former Olympic diver. She won gold medals in both platform and springboard diving in the 1948 Summer Olympics in London.

Another remarkable woman of substance is Eleanor Mariano, a physician who is the first Filipino American to reach the rank of admiral in the United States Navy. She was nominated by President Bill Clinton and served as the White House Physician for President Clinton and President Bush.

I hope that we all can learn a little bit more about these, and other heroes.

Today, September 8, 2007, is my lola's eighty-ninth birthday and I spent the whole day at her beck-and-call. Not too different from any other day. I spent a lot of time talking to her and watching television with her and as I did that, I realized that she is my life. When she dies, I really do not know what I am going to do with myself.

She has lived with me ever since I was born, except for a couple of years when she lived with my uncle and those month-long trips to the Philippines that she took. She has taken care of me all my life. I remember holding her hand, walking with her through the streets of Vacaville, picking walnuts from the trees, me barely able to keep up with her. We would watch The People's Court and The Price is Right on our 13" black and white Zenith television, the one with no remote. I remember laying down next to her in her bed when Superman with Christopher Reeve was first shown on the television. My mom told me that my lola would shove a bottle in my mouth to get me to stop crying, and it always worked. Lola was my mom more than my mom was my mom those years.

When I was older, we would snap green beans together, doing my part in helping her make a meal. We'd also make cookies out of Mochiko rice flour, a favorite of mine. We'd garden, growing tomatoes, eggplant, ampalaya, and squash. We even planted a persimmon, lemon, and orange tree.

I also remember when my lola became a United States citizen, mostly because she would not receive Supplemental Security Income without it. The Philippines will always be her home. She came here to help my mom. She left her second husband in the Philippines to come here. She sacrificed a lot more than I could ever give her. Here is to a lifetime of joy - one day at a time.

Almost thirty years later my lola is still here by my side. The garden is no longer there, but the trees remain, bigger than ever and faithfully blooming each year, a symbol of her strength. My lola no longer stands as straight, nor moves as fast but her mind is still sharp. Her eyes and ears are failing her, but her laugh is full and her smile as beautiful as ever. We still hold hands, although we only venture just outside into our back and front yards. She no longer cooks, but I make the foods that she used to make me, a little taste of home in a surrogate country. Her latest term of endearment for me have been "fatso, fatso" and she often tells me, "You are crazy," to which we both laugh. I love to see her laugh and smile.

Through losing my mom, two spinal fractures, a heart attack, and what I thought was her final trip home and the last time she would stay in the United States, I am devoted to her happiness. I will not know what to do when she dies because she is my life. Right now though, my happiness and content lie in my ability to continue to take the time that I have with her and make the most of it.

Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.

How often have I heard from someone that they are being held back by someone, something, some circumstance in life? I have far too often used this excuse myself. However, when I really think about it, the person holding me back was me. I was the only person telling myself not to try something at that moment, nobody else. It would be my own inner conversation saying that it is not even worth trying. The tragedy of it is, if I did not even try, then I definitely would not accomplish it. I was saying no to myself.

Fortunately, I think I have realized this enough times to stop stopping myself, and allowing myself to live, and to fail my way to success. It does not take a genius to realize that if you do not play, you can not win. Life is a gift to be enjoyed. A great secret about it is that, to be frank, you can not get out of life alive. Therefore, it makes sense to get out on the field rather than sit out in the stands. Either you happen to life or life happens to you.

It feels as though it has been quite a while since I have been able to write anything of real substance. My mind has not been as active with inspiration as it usually is. I am working my way up an incline and have been so focused on ascending a mountain that stands in my way. I am working toward more happiness for myself.

Seeking to improve one's lot in life is a natural goal to seek. To do it without impinging on the lives of others is the responsible thing to do. To share that status with others is the noble thing to do. I hope that I can fulfill all of those requisites in my own life.

My boss, State Superintendent of Public Instruction Jack O'Connell, began a campaign in February to narrow the achievement gap, the well documented phenomena of particular groups of students underachieving in schools compared to other groups of students. I feel like we are doing a noble thing, in working on this issue, and I feel proud to be doing what I do, as part of a Government entity seeking social justice in education. Rather than recite the work that the California Department of Education (CDE) has been doing in this area, it would be much easier for you to read it on the CDE Web site, at http://www.cde.ca.gov/nr/ne/yr07/yr07rel98.asp. It is hard work, to be sure, but if we can reach our goal, it will be worth the struggle. Yeah, life is fulfilling.

It makes no difference as to the name of the God since Love is the real God of all the world. - Apache wisdom

Wisdom comes to people in simple truths, and humans tend to overcomplicate matters. If only we answered to our loves. Our love of equality, of happiness, or respect. Love can conquer all, and uncontrollable in many circumstances. When we learn how to harness that power and that energy, we could all accomplish so much.