Did you know that Father’s Day is celebrated on the third Sunday of June in 55 of the world’s
countries?  It’s a day to acknowledge and celebrate true fathers who are supportive and involved in
their children’s lives.  

As you have probably heard me say many times, I am the proud only child of Edita Amoroso, a courageous single mom, and grandson of Juanita Guleng, my maternal lola, who raised me when my mom was not around. I didn’t have the traditional role model father, so I want to also honor all of the mothers who serve as fathers as well.

Let’s also remember to acknowledge the men who have taken on the task of raising another man or men’s children, or whoever is a father figure in the lives of children.  

I support Ruby Veridiano in her bid to become Alicia Keys’ Head Blogger of IAAS.com (IAmASuperWoman.com). This decision came after carefully reading each entry from the three finalists, carefully considering their messages, and deciding who I felt had ”empowering content” and was “delivering vibrant and optimistic news, opinion, and entertainment “

While all of the final three candidates are excellent writers, I feel that Ruby’s entries rise above the rest. The one in particular that simply made me breathless was the one entitled Feeding Our Dreams: The Audacity of a Woman’s Achievement. This happens to be one on a topic that all three contestants wrote on, and these common entries help to serve as a foundation upon which I built my opinion. The topic was, “If you could have dinner with Three (3) Super Women, from ANY generation or time period, who would they be and why?”

Ruby’s response stands out because she chose not only two people from history, the great writer bell hooks and civil rights activist Yuri Kochiyama, but she also chose “A teenage version of my two-year old-niece Isabelle, who, in this metaphor, will be too young to understand love’s politic, but old enough to absorb the wisdom these women can offer.” She connected the past to the future–realizing that our futures are so dependent on the lessons we take from the past.

With all due respect, the responses from the other two contestants were more typical. While they chose amazing individuals, they chose individuals from history or from the present. Nobody but Ruby chose someone from the future.

Other entries also demonstrate Ruby’s empowering content and vibrant and optimistic news. She showcases other social justice-oriented businesses that do not compromise style in her entry Looking Good For The Movement. Ruby also describes examples of her ability to empower through her work with youth in her entry Raising the Roof (and the Classroom Standard), in which she writes, “Fist up, guards down–there is nothing more powerful than an idea born out of a revolution.” In a more recent entry she provides tips on building relationships in Building Networks Vs. Building Relationships. Finally, in her oldest entry, she reveals a personal memoir about her immigration experience to America in Style And Conviction, or Why You Can’t Fake Being Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez.

Ruby’s entries are incredibly, accessible, insightful, and inspiring. I support her in her bid to become the Head Blogger of IAAS.com. Do yourselves a favor and check out this super woman.

Another dream remembered on this Mother’s Day, May 9, 2010.

I walked into our master bedroom and inside were my stepfather and mom. He greeted me and I greeted him. I was getting ready for a formal event and left the room to do just that. I reentered the room and my mom was laying in bed. I walked over to her and told her, “I’m going to school now.” She asked, “You’re not going?” I clarified, “I am going.”

When I went downstairs I saw my lola by the door, and she was spitting something out as if she had just drank something incredibly bitter. There was a potted plant near her and another bucket of water. I wanted to ask, “Lola, what are you doing?!” but she was already on her way out the door.

I went to the cemetery today and laid two beautiful bouquets down on my mom’s and lola’s adjacent graves. It was a cathartic time where I prayed, cried, and thanked them for all their guidance and for pouring themselves into me.

It is a rare occassion that I wake up and remember what I was dreaming about. I know there is significance to my dream when I am able to recall it.

Last night, I dreamt that I was looking for Lola. I was walking everywhere, in search of her, and could not find her. Although I recall this part of my dream, it is hazy to me whether or not I was walking around Sacramento, or walking around an unfamiliar place. My uncle was also in the dream, but he could offer no help in finding her.

I am not sure what it means. It could be my mind reinforcing that I have physically lost my Lola. People say that when you see loved ones in your dreams, they are visiting you. What does it mean when you do not see them, but are looking for them? Certain people believe that one should not desire their loved ones so much, so that their loved ones can make the transition without complication.

I find myself doing all of the above. There are times that I wish I could sit next to her, stroking her hair, holding her hand, or giving her some food or drink. Then there are times where I find myself glad that she is no longer lacking quality of life.

These feelings are similar to how I felt after my mom died on October 18, 2000. I reacted negatively to her death in all aspects of my life–academically, personally, physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially. I desire to do better this time. It is almost ten years later and I am in a different place in my life and living under different circumstances. My Lola was a source of strength for me when I was dealing with my mom’s death or any other difficult situation. I do not have her to turn to this time. Fortunately, I do have my mom’s memories, her teachings, and my Lola’s memories and teachings. They have taught me well. I will honor them both through my life.

I am forever indebted to Lola Titay. She has showered me with gifts in her life and now in her death. We shared a room and a home for so long–longer than I even shared with my mom. She guided me through many decisions, trained me in many manners, and gave me what I needed, even if it was not exactly what I wanted. Lola Titay taught me many lessons that I will never forget. They ranged from the common sensical to the downright perplexing.

She loved me and I loved her. Our relationship was beyond compare. While I will miss her, I will hang on to our many joyous memories.

Lola Titay was a natural beauty. She never wore a lot of makeup. At least, it never looked like it. My mom used to say the secret to makeup was for it to look like you were not wearing any. I am sure she learned that from my Lola.

These lessons transcend generations. I myself am a great afficionado of natural beauty. Less is definitely more for me. My Lola epitomized the idea of less is more. She dressed well, but not extravagantly. Her jewelry was small, providing a subtle accent that drew your eye but did not overwhelm nor detract from the overall ensemble. She was subtle. A very wealthy individual once stated, “When you are rich like me, you can afford to be subtle.” While my Lola was not independently wealthy in the monetary sense, she was incredibly wealthy in dignity and pride.

My Lola Titay was very sentimental. She kept a lot of pictures, greeting cards, notes, and other significant items.

I strongly remember Lola Titay’s reaction to a Christmas card she received from her youngest daughter. The card came in with the mail, and I brought it over to her. She opened it and read it aloud, as if she was reading it to me. Then she slowly closed it, smiled and said, “She is very good to me.” She placed the card back in the envelope and set it down next to her. A short while later, she opened the card again, read it aloud, and then smiled. She repeated this several times. Her happiness was genuine, and I cherished sharing that moment with her.

My Lola Titay took care of me during my formative years. My devotion to her started even back then. Before I was school age, we lived in Vacaville. My mom was working two jobs and my uncle was working the swing shift, so I barely saw either of them. Her method of parenting was very direct and aggressive. As a baby, when I cried, she shoved a bottle in my mouth. When I was off of the bottle, she shoved food in front of me. She hated it when I cried. She employed the same parenting style when she would babysit my younger cousins Melisa Guleng, Sonny Gonzales, and Jennifer Guleng.

Since Lola Titay did not drive, we walked everywhere. When she had a destination in mind, she was on her way, at her pace, regardless of who was with her. My short legs could barely keep up with her, and I would often have to break into a sprint to keep up with her. We picked up walnuts that fell from the trees that lined Alamo Drive.

When we moved to Sacramento, we had a large enough backyard that Lola Titay started a nice sized garden. She grew long beans, eggplant, sayote, tomatoes, and probably many other vegetables that escape me right now. It was always fun tending the garden with her. She also planted a lemon tree and a persimmon tree that bear fruit even today.

When we harvested the crops or picked the trees, we always reveled in the yield. I realized later in life that this probably reminded her of the Philippies, where subsistence farming was common in the province.

Lola Titay also enjoyed cooking. Some of her favorite things to make were mung beans, eggplant, bistek, Mochiko cookies, and fried tilapia.

Lola Titay’s identity was strongly influenced by her Catholic faith. We recited the Rosary every night, and she always prayed, even late in life. She never said her prayers in English, always praying in her native languages.

Some of her proudest moments were when she petitioned her son and youngest daughter to come to America and when she passed the United States of America citizenship test. I can still remember the smile on her face when she took the oath.

As the years went on, Lola Titay developed her English pronounciation. For example, one of my favorite realizations was when she started to make the “uh” sound, such as the sound used in what. She was not pronouncing what with he “ah” sound.

Although Lola Titay was physically small, she was larger than life. She was the matriarch of the family, which she shared with my mom when she needed to. Her strength, character, dignity, and compassion were awe inspiring. She was a fighter, and whenever I would lose some hope, she always showed me a reason to have some again.

When my uncle and I bathed Lola Titay–because she could no longer do it on her own–and as I went to lather her chest area, she would grab my arm and proceed to karate chop it. She did this the first time we bathed her until the last time we bathed her. I laughed it off each time, impressed and gleeful that she wanted to maintain her dignity and was willing to fight me to maintain it.

Juanita Mintac was born on September 8, 1918, to Evaristo Mintac and Generosa Valenzuela in Alipangpang, Pozorrubio, Pangasinan, Philippines. There she worked the fields of the family farmlands. Despite a formal education that only included third grade, she was inherently intelligent, naturally analytical, and innately decisive.

Juanita married Raymundo Guleng prior to World War II, and they had two children, Edita Guleng (March 12, 1940-October 18, 2000) and Dominador Guleng (February 5, 1943- ). She had many stories of fleeing into the mountains from Japanese forces and finding shelter in empty caves and abandoned buildings. When she was widowed in the war, she married Pedro Norial, and they had one daughter, Marina Norial.

Juanita continued to live in Alipangpang until her immigration to the United States of America in 1977. In America, she lived with her children Edita and Dominador, helping to raise three of her grandchildren: Bobby G. Roy, Melissa Guleng, and Jennifer Guleng.

In 1993, Juanita’s youngest daughter moved to the United States with her husband, Servillano Gonzales, and children, Chester, Brian, and Sonny.

In 2005, Juanita welcomed into the world her only grandchild, Acai Gray.

Juanita was an epitome of strength and a model of dignity throughout her 91 years of life and well-deserving of the love bestowed upon her by family and friends.

We shall miss her dearly.

Alaska has passed a resolution declaring October 2010 as Filipino American History Month.  Supported by the bi-partisan working group in the Senate, the House voted unanimously to approve SCR 14 which would recognize October 2010 as Filipino American History Month.  Representative Thelma Buchholdt, who passed away in 2007, was the first Filipino American elected to a state legislature and served in the House from 1974 to 1982.  Her name was referred to in a floor speech urging all members to vote yes. 

You can see a copy of the resolution at the Alaska Legislature Web site at http://www.legis.state.ak.us/PDF/26/Bills/SCR014A.PDF (Outside Source).

I encourage everyone to focus on some aspect of Filipino American history during the month of October. Please visit http://www.alaskero.com (Outside Source) later this summer for more information and ideas on how Alaskans will celebrate Filipino American History Month.

If you want even more ideas sooner, attend the Filipino American National Historical Society (FANHS) conference this summer from July 21-24, 2010.  For more information, please visit the FANHS Web site at http://www.fanhs-national.org/ (Outside Source).